Love Thy Neighbor

You know the saying, “Love Thy Neighbor”…I don’t think so….not my neighbors. I’ve got sketchy neighbors. They are the third set to be in the house next door which by the way, is a gorgeous brick home in a very beautiful neighborhood, next to some amazing people….that would be us!

The first family that lived there was great. They took meticulous care of their house and lawn, had great Christmas decorations, and were very involved in the neighborhood….threw a great neighborhood Holiday party. (Didn’t get wild drunk at the party and say stupid things either.) They were only there a couple of years… split town…not in the middle of the night or anything. Enter a new family…

..a couple with two huge poodles. Poodles for some reason scare me and especially two together. They were black and white, so I think they were trying to be socially correct or something. Anyway, they were just a little odd (not the dogs…the people, silly)…couldn’t really put my finger on it. Very friendly, but had very strange stories…like the woman “accidentally” burned down their house when she was younger, stuff like that. She claimed she could do just about anything….especially when it came to plumbing (whose plumbing?)…very interesting talent. One thing that was pretty neato was the media room they put in their basement. This was the highlight of their time in the neighborhood…they had a few of us over and we sat in their big honker leather chairs and watched their big ass screen. They had a baby and then moved to Florida. Enter very sketchy neighbors…..

The sketchy neighbors have earned their title of sketchy. First of all, not sure what they do for work over there…maybe work from the house…maybe the home mortgage business (think that is how they keep the house) or the mob. Okay, the mob is a little dramatic, but read on….

There is a grandmom, daughter and her 2 older sons who live there. I won’t even tell you about their size, cuz that is not fair. hehe They have HUGE (for good reason) black cars, Cadillacs, convertibles….lots of them. They like to lay rubber in their driveway….you know rev the car and slam the brakes on…all in 10 feet. They have many strange cars and people coming at different times of the day/week; some from another state. They have so many cars and visitors that they are parking on their lawn in the back which is ruining the lawn. Plus the front lawn has gone to shit….I mean, weeds.

When they first moved in, the phone company and electric company were over there 24/7. Hmmm, wondering…do they have people working out of their basement? Anway, the transformer between our 2 homes blew up. Never had a problem until the sketchies moved in. They have a special trash pick-up day different from everyone else in the neighborhood. The truck backs down their driveway to their cans. (I mean trash cans.) Hmmm, wondering….what are they disposing that can’t be brought out to the curb?? They never walk down the driveway to the mailbox…one of their visitors stops at the mailbox and brings it in every day. They never have been to a neighborhood get-together (and we’re such fun people.) You never, ever see these people outside unless they are whizzing by in a car. In the middle of the night you might hear them. Supposedly they “sold” their home (that is what the paper showed) to someone….but they never moved out. The sketchies are still in the house. Do I need to say anymore??? Trust me I could….but I think you get the picture.

So if for some reason you don’t hear from me again…you might try putting 2 and 2 together…..you’ll figure out they read my blog and I am now dead meat. But until they off me…..I smile and wave when I see their big ass cars drive by…..I do not want to be the next drive by….you know what I’m talking about, here??!!!