Friday, March 30, 2012

Animated Programming

Who decides what channels will be displayed on public televisions in
airport terminals?

At BWI (Baltimore airport) on a weekday morning..
take a guess as to what was 
on for the viewing audience?


Fox News?



followed by Pink Panther,

with Yogi Bear

 bringing up the furry rear.
  hell ya.

I found the cartoons an interesting choice.....
No one looked at the screens.
 Not even the two toddlers in the room. 
(They were only interested in
chasing each other in circles
and knocking over old people.)


I swear Airlines look for ways to mess with our heads. 
They search high and low for ways to torture us. 
(hmmm...let's not only delay their flight 3 hours, 
let's make them watch cartoons while they wait. mwuhaha)

I'm not sure who determined Yogi Bear and friends
was in demand by the flying public?

I'd like to let them know...
we are smarter than "the average bear"...
their programming choices can go to hell

in a pick-a-nick basket. 

Ain't that right, boo-boo?

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

"Big Brother"

Can you imagine giving a prospective employer access to your Facebook account?  
Say what?

There are now occasions when job applicants are asked for their password
so a prospective employer can check their background.

They must be mad.  
(And I'm not talking the cool mad men and women from the TV show.)

So at their leisure, employers can sit down with a cup of coffee...
and peruse your  postings,
ponder your photos,
and pore over your privates.
(ya know what I mean.)

We already know not to put things on Facebook that we wouldn't want public...
that's one thing.  
But having to give out your private password...
that's a thing of a different thing.

What if you haven't posted anything obviously incriminating on FB...
but the employer just doesn't like what they see?  
Maybe you look scary without makeup,
or your friends look sketchy...
or they don't like your pit bull.

Or they see a tattoo (that isn't normally visible.)
Or you mention being pregnant or wanting to get pregnant.

And with the new Facebook Timeline....
they can easily go back in time and get a good line on your life.  

We might as well give them the keys to our front door,
so they can rummage through our bureau drawers.  
"Oh, Prospective Employer...Here's the key to my diary.
And check out May 15, 2011.  Really Juicy stuff."


In "1984" there was Big Brother..."Big Brother is watching you."

but in 2012 there is a new Big Brother..."Big Brother is creeping on you."

This new Big Brother...can get direct access to your all your laundry.  
and who doesn't have some dirty laundry in Da House???  

(My laundry day is next Tuesday...
until then it's all dirty.)

Monday, March 26, 2012

The Word on Energy Drinks

I'm not in the habit of


wait, PDA is Public Display of Affection. 
(I am a little shy.)

I mean, I'm not in the habit of...
PSA ..
a Public Service Announcement.

BUT, after what I saw on The Today Show...
I couldn't shy
away from addressing the monster issue surrounding...
energy drinks.

The mother
of Anais Fournier,
a 14 year-old from Maryland,
who died of cardiac arrest after drinking two Monster energy drinks in 24 hours
was on the Today Show last week
discussing the serious dangers of energy drinks. 
Her daughter did have a heart condition called "mitral valve prolapse",
but the condition is usually harmless and
as many as 1 in 100 to 200 people have a form of the condition.

Energy drinks are not regulated by the FDA,
because they are considered a dietary supplement and not a food.
2 Monster drinks are equal to 14 cans of Coca Cola. 
That much caffeine stimulant  can easily have you flying, jumping, and sky diving ...
just imagine what your heart is doing.

The caffeine rush found in energy drinks
has led to an increase rush
for hospital E.R's
where they have seen a dramatic spike in caffeine overdoses and toxicity.


These drinks are being marketed directly to our children with cool names like...
Red Bull,
and Rockstar.

It would probably be safe to say
young people wouldn't be drinking them
if they had names like
Senior Stamina
Mature Mojo.

I commend Anais's mom for getting the word out about
the dangers surrounding the energy drinks
and pushing for a law to have the drinks regulated by the FDA.

So folks, that ends my PSA.

Actually my PSA goes hand-in-hand with my PDA..

My Public Service Announcement
is actually
my Public Display of Affection
for my own children....
and their friend's friends...friend's friends.

I feel it's vitally important to
spread the
about this eye opening issue
regarding the high levels of caffeine in energy drinks
and the serious dangers
they can pose.

Friday, March 23, 2012

Hungry for Hunger Games

I finished reading the "Hunger Games" trilogy

by Suzanne Collins
and now I'm hungry for the movie.
I won't be satisfied until I get my Katniss butt into a theatre.
(and eat a feed bag full of popcorn.)

I normally make it my policy to not see the movie after I've read the book. 
 I like to keep the visual I've concocted in my own crazy little mind
and not have someone else's visual...
(from their crazy little mind.)  

But there are times...
I'm interested in seeing the movie...just to see how it would be brought to life.
And that is the case with the Hunger Games.


If you haven't already heard what the book/movie is about..
(where ya been?)
it is about a futuristic apocalyptic world...containing a capital and 12 districts. 
 (Don't worry, this is not a spoiler.)
The Capital requires each district to send a boy and a girl
between the ages of 12 and 18 (chosen at random) to the Hunger Games..
which are televised to the public.
The children must fight each other until death...
 until one child is left standing.

Such a CRAZY idea. 
Which led to this crazy idea for a new Hunger Games....
(CrAzy begets cRaZy.) 

"The Blogger Games"

A competition where bloggers take each other out...
(not on a date, silly)
but knock each other out...into non-blogger status. 

When a blogger receives a Thumbs down sign...

he/she/it  is blown out of the blogger water...
until there is
one Blogger Person left in BlogWaterWorld.

May the best blogger be the last blogger

"The Blogger Games"
 coming to a blog near you.

just call me KatnissOUT

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Reincarnation Dilemma

Hinduism believes that when you leave this world...
your soul or spirit will come
back reincarnated...
in some form
be it...
another person,
a plant,
or animal...

I was wondering...hmmm

If you were reincarnated...and had to come back as an ANIMAL...
"What animal would you choose?"
For me, it's a difficult decision
But if forced to choose....

a dog would be my first choice

but a chicken
would be a close second.
(Shirley, you can't mean a chicken.)

Granted, a dog is man's best friend and has a cushy life in most households
except, maybe, Michael Vick's...
you shirley can't beat the life of a chicken..
on the Hawaiian island of

If you've been to Kauai you can't help notice the colorful chickens
freely roaming around the island. 
There must be some paltry poultry law on the Kauai books that the
"chicken rules."

These chicks have free rein.
The entire island is their oyster and
 their chicken coop. 
"Born Free"
is the soundtrack of their lives...
they cluck and cocka-doodle-doo
around the island.

They look amazingly healthy
and are many in number because they have few predators... 
except for the occasional rabbit and  jaguar...
who forget to stop when the chicken
is crossing the road.

Which reminds me.......

"Why did the Kauai chicken cross the road?"

Shirley, because it can.


There is one other animal I might consider coming back as...
One with an even cushier life...

the  party animal.

The life of a party animal
on any island


Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Coincidence? Coinkidink?

We all experience
coincidences or coinkidinks...

but a week???
What the hell?

First I mention the random word 'leprosy' in a random blog... 
(It seemed like a natural progression  after...lava, lagoons, leis...leprosy.) 

Two days later..I mention my upcoming Hawaii trip to a friend
who brings up the interesting/unusual fact that years ago
Hawaiians with leprosy
were sent to a peninsula on the Hawaiian island of Moloka'i. 
What the hell?

Then right before our trip to Hawaii
my book club suggests the book
"Moloka'i"  by Alan Brennert...
about the Hawaiian island and leprosy
What the hell?

Again, I ask you...
coincidence?  coinkidink?


IN 3 days...
3 leprosy references...
when it has been 3 eons
since I've thought about 'leprosy.'

Not sure what that means...

but i must say
I would NOT recommend reading "Moloka'i" on the beach in Hawaii.
(Although I would recommend reading it in Maine.) 
With each descriptive word...
I was jumping out of my skin. 
I couldn't stop checking myself for red patches.

I do NOT have thick skin...
so I don't take these coinkidinks lightly.

I'm just hoping there isn't a 4th leprosy reference...
These coinkidinks are making my skin crawl...

and make me wonder about the expression:
"there is more than one way to skin a Kat."

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Erin Go Braugh

Erin Go Braugh

St. Paddy's Day

A day to celebrate Irish history, customs, and spirits.

A day to pay homage to St. Patrick

and St. Guiness.


Remember to get your shamrock on.
Get out there and and celebrate the green...

Belt out "When Irish Eyes are Smiling."
Belt down a pint of green beer.
Loosen your belt for some corn beef and cabbage

Oh, one more...
this is directed to...

Erin go braugh(less)
 make sure you bring a sweater...
it could be chilly.

Happy St. Patrick's Day,
lads and lassies.

(This is just a wee bit late.)

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Go Hawaii

the 50th U.S. State,
with all it's natural beauty...
is a bouquet of
and fragrance.
(I'm thinking about a career as an Hawaiian tourism advocate/blogger.)  

I easily understand why a person would decide to 
pack their bags,
and pack it in for the Hawaiian Islands.

And I would lead the pack...

if it wasn't for Hawaiian words and names. 
They put me into a (51st) state of confusion.

No matter how I try,
I can not begin to pronounce, read, repeat, or remember Hawaiian words.
I have a strong Hawaiian block...and it doesn't have an spf.

It probably has something to do with the numerous vowels.

If there was an "Hawaiian Wheel of Fortune" wouldn't take long to get through a game.

"Vanna I'd like to buy some vowels."
(Throw in a "k" or an "h" and game over.)

It is amazing how many more K's are found in
Hawaiian words
American/English words...
although the American word "kook" might quickly come to mind.


To continue as an informative Hawaiian tourism blogger....

The official state flower is the Ma'ohauhele.
and the state fish of Hawaii is humuhumunukunukuapia'a.
Try ordering the humuhumunukunukuapia'a in a restaurant.
A fish with 12 vowels better be tasty.
I usually stick with the two vowel fish that I can pronounce...

I was thinking I should add an extra "a" to my name...for a more authentic Hawaiian name....

but I just had a sinking feeling
my idea as an Hawaiian tourism blogger
is Ka'atOUT of the question. 


Monday, March 12, 2012

Life of a Rockstar

The winter months are a good time for me to join PaulA on a few business trips...
(Warm destinations need only apply.)  
They get me out of the bleak for weeks, so to speak.
Consequently this frequent traveler
has had infrequent blog postings. 

Colinboy keenly pointed out how I've been living the life of a rockstar.
"Hey Rockstar, where ya going now?" 

Ya know....he may be right.   (he may be crazy)
I just may  be a rockstar.

And I'm on a roll......
traveling the country,
trashing hotel rooms,
ordering room service,
sunning myself,
and shunning the public.


When you get down to the truth of the  grey matter... 
PaulA is the rockstar..not this Kat.

I'm actually living the life of his entourage...a professional clinger-on-er.

Yep, this here Kat is PaulA's posse....giddy up. 
Puff Daddy/Puff/P. Diddy/Diddy has nothing on PaulA...
except maybe a few more nicknames.

Life  on the road  does provide the added benefit of providing
new experiences for new material....
which (as you know) would greatly benefit this blog.

Coming soon...
think leis,
and leprosy.

Power to the Posse.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Bless Your Heart

The expression

“Bless your heart”

has many blessed meanings...

 You've having a Very Crappy Day....
your car has crapped out


your dog has crapped in the house.

A friend might say to you,
“Bless your heart...What a day you've had."
(Meaning...I know exactly how  you feel.)

“Bless your heart”
also has a way of turning insults into something less insulting...
especially when done by a professional blesser. 
 It takes the zing out of a full strength insult
and turns it into an...“InsultLITE.”

You’re with some friends and there’s gossiping going down
 (you’re just listening, of course.)

“Did you see Jenny’s outfit today? Bless her heart.

She thinks those striped pants look good on her

with all the weight gain since her baby...

Bless her heart.

There can also be times when YOU are on the receiving end of “Bless your heart.”
 Times when you’re "dissed" right to your face,
before you realize what just happened.

“Oh, You got your hair cut. Bless your heart. 

You’re probably upset with how it came out. 

I’m sure you’ve tried everything to fix it, bless your heart.”


With so many blessings...
who needs to attend church on Sundays?
You are definitely headed straight to heaven. 

Even in that ugly ass sweater you’re wearing,

Bless your heart.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

All Dogs go to Heaven

Hey Kat,
Look UP...

It's Duncandog HERE...

You wouldn't believe the joint I'm living in now.
.... some pretty sweet digs.

First off, I get to lounge around on big fluffy couches.
Best. sleep. ever.
And whenever I get the munchies...there's no waiting around.
It's Self-Service/Step Right Up/Help Yourself.
I go to the ATM and dispense myself some treats. 
Love the peanut butter ones.

I've got lots of pals up here and
catch this...
all my peeps in da hood 
love my rapping.
 I always knew there was an audience somewhere for this

Rapper D.

And don't worry Kat,
I'm feeling
My health has improved by leaps and bones...
which by the way, you will be happy to hear aren't stiff anymore.
I feel like that agile pup you brought home
14 years ago.

I swear there is something in the water here.
My Sweet Lord...
 I can actually see and hear again. 

Remember back in the day how I used to spy on you...
and follow you around...all FBI and all?

Well that's nothing...
Now I'm really watching you...

I'm actually in a Lazy Boy...right now...watching you on the tube...
switching channels between
the Animal Planet
and YOU
on closed circuit TV.   

And I see that you and the family are very sad I'm not with you :(
I want you to know...
you can stop crying now....
cuz this Duncandog is doing

 Life at home with you, PaulA, Big C, Colinboy, and Wishy
was preettty grand,

but as you know, Kat...
All Dogs go to Heaven.

Friday, March 2, 2012

Kat in the Hat

Today is Dr. Suess's 108th birthday,
and also the strategic release of the movie:
"Dr.Suess' The Lorax."

To commemorate Dr. Suess.....
children of all ages are
making rhymes...
and committing crimes
(Hey, it rhymes.)

I have taken unjust liberties and created
a pseudoSuess
from my favorite Dr. Suess book,
Green Eggs and Ham.
(defintely a crime.lock her up)


by KatOUT

I do NOT like Green Eggs and Ham.
I do NOT like them, Kat I am.

I do NOT like them on a bun.

I do NOT like them with a nun.

I do NOT like them for my dinner.

I do NOT like them with a sinner.

I do NOT like them on the floor.

I do NOT like them with a whore.

After a tasting....
I DO like Green Eggs and Ham.

I DO like them, Kat I am.

I DO like them in a car.

I DO like them in a bar.

I DO like them with my kin.

I DO like them with lotsa gin.

I DO like them with my mama.

I DO like them with Obama.

It’s hard to write like THE DOCTOR...
without looking like you need one.

This Kat is half in the hat.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Happy March 1st

As ol'  English superstition/tradition has it...

in order for you to pocket
a month of Good Luck,

you must say  "rabbit"
three times.
(I don't invent these rules...I just enforce them.)

And put away that lame rabbit's foot
you keep in your pocket. 

A rabbit's foot won't bring you luck....
unless you can authenticate that it is...

the left hind foot of
a rabbit that was shot or captured in a cemetery
during a full moon.

you're better off pulling a rabbit out of your...


In keeping with the upcoming St. Patrick's Day holiday...

3 O'Hares......



(kiss me)


Happy March 1st