Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Patriot's Day Bombing

Patriot's Day
will now be remembered as the day of the 
Boston Marathon bombing.
When I think of bombings I think of Baghdad…
not Boylston Street.

Patriots Day, a state holiday, 
is a big deal in Boston.
Between the Boston Red Sox game 
and the Boston Marathon…
it always brings thousands of tourists and locals into the city.
Who would think that as a spectator …
you'd end up running for your own life?

Through all the chaos, confusion…
and carnage…
it was hard to get in touch with people.
We couldn't talk with our Sweet Wishy 
who lives at marathon mile marker 25.
Cell service was intentionally turned off…
leaving those trying to get in touch with loved ones 

There have  been hundreds of accounts of
self-less and heroic acts.  
People offering to 
house and pick up people who were stranded 
after the bombings, 
feed them, give blood.

Bostonians are tough people...
with a wicked strong spirit.

During times like these Americans always reunite.  
Republicans stop waving the red flag, 
Democrats stop waving the blue flag, 
and together we fly the 
Red, White and Blue.

And as Americans 
under one great flag

we lower the flag 
in memory of those who lost their lives.

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Ventriloquist's Dummy

Recently I saw a ventriloquist on television
which immediately brought me back to my childhood and 
my childhood passion.

When I was around 10 years old,
I was fascinated with Ventriloquism.
 aka "throwing your voice."

 My fascination started with the Shari Lewis Show 
and her puppet, 
Lamb Chop.  

From then on I knew exactly what I wanted to do.

 I remember practicing every chance I could.
I'd stand in front of the bathroom mirror 
and talk to myself...
trying to not move my lips. 
I'd have long conversations with myself 
through a scary frozen smile.

(I probably looked like the Ventriloquist's dummy.)

And, I thought I was pretty darn good.  

I began visualizing my future as
 Kat the Ventroloquist...
touring the country with my dummy,
(Who you calling a dummy?)
making my dummy talk back to me.


Shari Lewis's Lamb Chop 
was an adorable puppet that
could bring a smile to everyone's face.
(waaay cuter than the dummy.)

There is a even a painting 
you can buy on ebay entitled 
"Jesus Tries to Cheer Paul McCartney w/ Lambchop Puppet & 
Create Oasis at Home."  

I'm not sure why Jesus looks like Ashton Kutcher in
"Two and a Half Men."
(By the way, this painting can be yours for only $177,000.) 

After watching the ventriloquist on television…
I tried "throwing my voice"...just to see if I still had it
and I gotta tell ya...
I still have it.

I just said out loud to myself...
"Kat is one ace blogger."
And my lips didn't move.
I guess you will have to take my word for it.

Now that I know there is still a future for Ventriloquists...
I'm thinking I might have time to follow my dream.
Does anyone know where I can find a dummy?

Wait a minute...
 who you calling a dummy?

Monday, April 8, 2013

Scams by Scum

Apparently there are a lot of 
innocent gulp-able or
gullible people 
walking around with 
big targets on their backs.

People who are easily
hustled and hoaxed.

Victims of 
by scum.

I'd like to give those folks a little heads up.

"If it's too good to be true…IT AIN'T TRUE."
if you are sending money to a stranger 
who promises you a 
subsequent "windfall" of new found money….
please know…
the check is not in the mail.  


The latest fad in scams is 

I remember when catfishing used to look like this...

But the FACE of catfishing has changed.

Now it looks like this...

You remember Manti Te'o and the 
love of his life,
soul mate,
he never met.

Te'o fell victim to an internet predator 
who fabricated an identity and tricked him into an
 emotional/romantic relationship.

I'm not an expert on catfishing.  
All I know is that whiskers on a fish scare me. 

They look so devious.

But, here's another heads up….

If you're a guy 
"talking" to a girl 
you haven't met face-to-face...
and her name happens to be

Dude, please know…. 

That Siri girl???

She ain't for real.

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Learning Curves

Whenever we're first introduced to something…
whether it's a new sport, dance, job or…
even a new cell phone…
it takes time to become proficient and 
master the skills required.  

There is always a
learning curve
to go from rookie to masta.

I recently joined a Zumba class…

so I've been dealing with that learning curve. 

 In order to get the moves down …
I've had to pay careful attention to the instructor.  

And because I was so preoccupied 
with not zumba-ing in the wrong direction...
I wasn't getting a huge workout.  

I didn't want to look like a
zany Zumba Zoolgist.


Yesterday a new Zumba recruit showed up in class.  
ahhh, fresh zumba meat.

I was curious to see how she would deal 
with the learning curve. 

I quickly found out…
she wasn't worried about any ole learning curve.  
She didn't slow down...
for nothin'. 

She wanted to keep a high aerobic intensity level 
so no new
samba or salsa moves
were putting the brakes on her.

I loved her 
zeal for Zumba…

even if she zumba-ed left...

right into me.

(Or was that zumba-ed right -
into me?)

I have to give zumba cred
where zumba credit is due...
she didn't care about working on
learning curves.

The only curves 
she cared about working on
were her own.

Work it,  girl.

Monday, April 1, 2013

Happy April First Fools

Tread carefully today.
dun dun dun dun

It's April 1st…
the day for pranks, 
practical jokes and 

No surprise that 
Twitter, Google, Facebook 
are all in on the jokes.

Twitter is saying you have to pay extra to use vowels…
otherwise it's consonants and Y's only..
dnt lk tht vry mch

If you see people smelling their phones…
they've fallen for the new
Google nose app.


And with the "Facebook Friend Fence"…
there is now a price for having access to the fb pages of more than 20 friends. 
(20 works for me.)

Just remember to
play nice when it comes to pranks….
no inserting mayo for creme in Boston creme donuts,
or toothpaste in oreos,
or arsenic in coffee.
(Wait, that's diabolical not a prank)
Nothing is worse than a food prank that kills you.

My favorite pranks look like this…..
a post-it prank...
just so much fun.


As for an April Fools joke from this Kat...
I could say that I'm shutting down my blog, but
I did that one year…
and the joke was on me.
People were dancing in the streets.

I think it would be hard to deliver bad news today....
no one would believe you.
"I'm sorry, but you didn't get the job."
"That's a riot....so, when do I start?"

 I hope you remembered to say rabbit 3 times today.
Otherwise your luck could be scary….
And that's no joke.


my oh my, your teeth need brushing


ps.  Just noticed this is my 1,111 blog entry...
and on the 1st.
woo hoo