Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Happy Halloween

 I longingly remember the excitement of Halloween 
(back in the day) 
especially when it started to get dark.  
The kids would run around the house getting ready...
asking for help with their costumes 
and face paint.

PaulA would take them out trick-or-treating…
and I would stay home to pass out candy.  
One for you…
one for me.  
Two for you…
two for me.

So what treats will you be giving out to the 
when they visit your house? 

I know there are some folks 
who think that kids get enough sugar…
so they go the carb/starch route
bags of crackers, pretzel, popcorn.

Then there are those who
go the fruit route…apple.  
(Never tomatoes…they have a way of finding their way back to you.)

Today I was listening to "The Herd with Colin Cowherd" on ESPN.  
Colin said he was planning on giving out 
“moist jerky” to the kids. 
Apparently he is going the protein route.

There is a part of me (small part) that can understand jerky. 
That’s because our Colinboy would have loved a jerky stick
(must be something about the name Colin and loving jerky)
but there is no part of me that understands 
“moist jerky.”
(The word “moist” is not a pleasant word.)

I always take the sugar route…
candy bars and some non-chocolates like Skittles, lollipops, and Starbursts, 
(for those who are like Wishy.)


I do know you have to be careful 
with what you are passing off as "treats"…
should the goblins, ghouls, and ghosts
be unhappy...
 it can be a 

Recipe for Disaster…
2 dozen eggs, 
6 rotten tomatoes, 
10 rolls of toilet paper

step 1.  Moisten Toilet Paper.

step 2.  Break one dozen eggs on front walk of house.

step 3.  Throw one dozen eggs against house. 

step 4.  Throw 6 tomatoes at windows.

step 5.  Using 10 rolls of moist toilet paper, 
paper all trees, shrubs, and lamp posts in front yard.

Happy Halloween

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Hurricane Sandy and The Jersey Shore

What do 


Hurricane Sandy

have in common?

 have raised a LOT of hell 
on the 
Jersey Shore.

Hurricane Sandy 
on the Jersey Shore...
behaving badly.

2 troublemakers... 
incredibly annoying.
Attention-getters...energetic and loud...
happy to throw their weight around.

Their conduct, 
so disorderly... 
it is not uncommon for someone to
call 9-1-1.

Their paths...
so incredibly destructive...
massive blackouts.


"The Situation" 
on the Jersey Shore...
after getting 


Hurricane Sandy

is never pretty.

Monday, October 29, 2012

Here Comes Sandy

A Mega Storm 
Hurricane Sandy
is headed in our direction.

Got water?

Got flashlights?

Got batteries for those flashlights?

The storm is roughly 
900 miles wide 
and should affect roughly 
60 million people.. 
And when I say roughly…
I mean Sandy plays rough.
She isn't taking any prisoners.

Normally when I think of 
I think of a sweet, demur 
from the movie

But, this particular Sandy...
Hurricane Sandy
is much more assertive…
forcing people to either
board up
stock up
pack up.

The stress from the all the worry and commotion 
is enough to make you wanna drink...
bottoms up.


All last week Hurricane Sandy was out to sea 
slowly working her way up the eastern coast
things have taken a turn for the worse.
Sandy has potential to wreak havoc from 
New Jersey 
New England.

Now that I think about it…
 sweet, unassuming 
Sandy from "Grease"
started out that same way.

And as we all know….
it didn't take long before 
good Sandy  

turned into

bad, bad Sandy.

Friday, October 26, 2012

DWTS..."Picking Teams"

Have you been watching 

I used to watch, but I haven't this season.  
There was a time I was all about 
six packs
spray-on tans.
but now I'm all about

But I do know what's been going on with DWTS.  

I heard that Carrie Ann and Arbor.  
(Okay, google says it's...Carrie Ann Inaba)
fell out of her chair 
while excitedly clapping for a sexy male dancer.

Apparently, she was not sloshed to the gills, 
but was so hot and bothered by the Giles 
that she was knocked off her seat...
(both of them.)

I've also heard that Bristol Palin got the
 boot and 
swift kick of the high heel.

She is now off the show...
which was sad for Ms. Bristol Palin.

But even sadder than that....was
BEFORE Bristol was 
booted, kicked, and shit-canned....
she was the last person 
to be picked for the team dances.  

Ahhhhh.....The horror of being chosen last.


The thought of two team captains...
standing there 
each taking turns choosing members for their team is a 
middle school nightmare.

I remember times in middle school 
when the gym teacher chose 2 team captains 
and allowed them to take turns picking members for their own teams.   
Do they still do this? 
(Tell me it ain't so.)

I'l never forget the suspense standing there 
in my one-piece gym uniform...
with my knees knocking...
waiting to get picked.  

I didn't care what number I was chosen..
but dear God...
let it not be last.

So I'd try to put on a good game face and... 
look like a playa.
I'd try to make myself look
but any way I tried to present myself...
I was still a peanut 
with little legs 
and weak arms.

At least there is some consolation for Bristol.

Her dance uniforms...

were waaay cuter than the uniform 
I was forced to wear back in the day.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Anchors Away

I  watch the local news, 
mainly for the weather...
to know how many layers I should put on...
 to get the forecast for the 
upcoming weekend. 
 Living for the weekend...oh yea.

But I have to say...
I find it painful to watch the casual banter 
between the local anchor people.

I don’t find their joking around 
funny, comical, or amusing. 
(ummm, apparently I don't like it much.)

 Maybe that’s because they are a few waking hours ahead of me.
They've been up since 4:30 a.m. and are
Jacked from Joe...
when this Jill
 has yet to take her first sip of Joe
before heading up the hill. 

By the time the evening news rolls around 
(and I am awake) ...
the jokes haven’t gotten any funnier.

But what is funny is how they want us to think they are 
one big happy 
"news family"... 
and they get together to
have a couple of beers and play "Parchesi"...  

when we really know 
they are dysfunctional as the 
Hatfields and McCoys...
It's more like rifles, rye, and "Risk."

There are times I feel embarrassed for them
during their awkward banter.

I've been tempted to send flowers 
to the news station...



I’m not entirely sure why news people are called “anchors"  anymore.  
I'm sure you’ve noticed, 
they aren't exactly anchored to their desks.  
Their tethers have been cut...
so it's Anchors Aweigh.

I used to wonder what news folk were wearing under their desks.
But now that they are standing out front...
exposing themselves...
I don't have  to clutter my mind wondering...whether it's 
pjs?  pants? boxers? briefs?

On second thought, I could...
drop anchor
and just log onto 
to get 
without the wise guys.

So it's looks like...

Anchors Away

Time for me to set sail.
( is calling for "fair skies.")

Monday, October 22, 2012


I chose today…
a regular Monday, 
nothing special day….
 to write this blog about 
for a few reasons....

1.  I'm thinking of Brianna.
2.  Brianna is missed like crazy.
3.  Brianna's Semester-at-Sea 
 is half over.
(boo hoo for her/
woo hoo for me.)

Today, Brianna is leaving CapeTown, South Africa
 and cruising towards Buenos Aires, Argentina, South America. 
(Let's hope for smooth H2O during the 12 days across the Atlantic.)

From what Bri@sea has explained to me…
she is now officially an
"Emerald Shellback." 

An  "Emerald Shellback" is a rare designation
 given to those at sea 
who cross the point where
the equator and the prime meridian meet.
0º latitude/0º longitude
(380 miles south of Ghana/670 miles west of Gabon)
From what I heard...
the "Emerald Shellback" status is celebrated as 
"Neptune Day"onboard the ship  
and is beyond F.U.N.

I don't think I'll ever be an Emerald Shellback
but I am 
6º of Kevin Bacon.

It goes without saying,
Bri’s trip around the Atlantic rim is a trip of a lifetime.
Visiting places like Ghana and staying in a remote village
 is life changing.

Senase, Ghana

On a trip like this,
you learn a lot of things…
not just about different places...
you also learn a lot about yourself.  

I know when Bri left last August... 
she anticipated learning about different countries, people, and their culture.  
She anticipated meeting new friends onboard and abroad.  
She anticipated TONS of fun. 

londy loons

But you can't anticipate everything.
And that is when you learn the most about yourself.  
You figure things out.   
New experiences. New situations. 

I hope Bri@sea is keeping a Diary.  
It will be interesting for her to read back on all this...


Today I think of
our sweet, smiley...
ray of sunshine.
Cliffs of Moher, Ireland

We can’t wait to hear Bri's fascinating tales
of far away places.   
And to give her a hug.

Bri@sea has sooo many friends and family
this side of the prime meridian and equator….
who love her and miss her. 
 like. crazy.

Our Emerald Shellback 
is half way home.
woo hoo