Monday, December 30, 2013

Presence of Presents

Year after year 
Santa is presented with a present dilemma.
"What to get the kids?"

During years of Christmases past...
presents were a no-brainer for Santa.
A Barbie, 
a baseball bat, 
and a baby doll 
fulfilled Chelsea, Colin, and Brianna’s 
wish list.

With each year, however,
the present dilemma got trickier.

Last year Santa came through in a big way 
and presented them with a 
Best Buy Christmas.
(You really can't go wrong with electronics for presents….
unless, OF COURSE,
 you’re given a  sucky vacuum cleaner.)
Bad Santa

This year…
Santa presented them with 
a throw-back Chrismas...
a record player (complete with our old albums) for Brianna,
a recipe box (complete with Mom’s recipes) for Chelsea
a workout headband (complete with mullet) for Colin.


A few years ago 
Santa had the presence of mind 
to figure out
that kids their age like cold hard cash as presents
so Santa
them with an 

When it’s their turn….
they insert the card
into the ATM
and out pops cash.

The more trips to the ATM…
the merrier. 
Ho Ho Ho

And what could be better than cash?

Having our 3 at home…
all of us under the same roof, 
in the same room,
makes my Christmas day.

The presence of their presence
 is the best present.ever.

It doesn't get better than that.

Monday, December 23, 2013

Naughty or Nice?

While I've been out
Christmas shopping
around town and the Taj MaMall...
I've noticed that the General Q. Public 
in peculiar particular…
have been refreshingly polite to each other.

It warms my cockles to see...
people holding doors for people, 
people letting older people cut ahead, 
people paying it forward,
people needing people, 
are the luckiest people.

But when it comes to driving during the holidays….
all that people politeness 
is thrown out the car window 
along with the baby and the bath water...

nice turns to naughty.

Behind the wheel, 
these former
asses masses
become aggressive and resort to
giving the middle finger salute
(and not just at me.)

That's when 
my nice warm cockles 
turn stone cold.

So be careful of  the
"Nice turn Naughty." 

grandma got run over by a reindeer.

Merry Christmas, 
ya filthy animal.

Thursday, December 19, 2013

"Lick it" or "Click it" Holiday Cards

One of the many things I love about the holiday season 
is the cards.  
And that's not just me.  
As soon as our kids come home 
they ask, 
"Where are the cards?"  
Then they quickly dig through the pile, 
breezing through cards with nice holiday messages…
looking for photos. 

So question….
If you are still sending out
 Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanza cards…
how do you send them?

 lick the envelope..."snail-mail" style?
click Send…"You've got Mail" style?

I'm still in the old school lick-em style category.  

 I used to get Duncandog to help me

with the licking.
He was always good like that...

but these days 
I can't get a lick of help.


Seeing today is
 "Throwback Thursday"…
I have a Christmas card from years gone by…

I look forward to receiving 
any and all of your photo/non-photo 
holiday greetings 
lick it 

click it

with a lick and a promise...
all my cards will get done.

Thursday, December 5, 2013

December 5th - Cemented in History

Today is a day…
 that is cemented in 
Kat and PaulA history.
December 5th...38 years ago...was our first date.

We were sophomores at Groovy UVM 
and living in the dorms on Redstone Campus.
Paul asked me to 
 the semi-formal party 
that our dorm was having with his.   
(The party was as "semi-formal" 
as you can get in a dormitory lounge made of 
porous gray cinder blocks.)

So….. as girls do…
I debated on what I should wear.  
Nothing I owned seemed worthy of a 
concrete block semi-formal affair…
so I walked down street to the center of Burlington 
to look for a 
cool yet groovylicious 
outfit to wear…
and came back with a 
brown velvet skirt and matching brown vest.

I guess I was going for a look that screamed...
 It's a wonder PaulA didn't send me packing...
with packing slip and all.

I must say...
my date was looking quite spiffy in his 
corduroy jacket, 
white tie, 
and curly hair.


This morning I asked PaulA…
if he knew what day today was???
And he immediately said
with no hinting…
no prodding…
no nudging...
"December 5th...Today was our first date."

That there is 
concrete proof 
December 5th is a day we both
won't ever forget
and that my 
"How now brown cow" outfit didn't scare him away.**
(**if you're in your 20's you've never heard that expression before.)

So feeling the mood...
I went upstairs and put on 
my most lovely brown outfit.

Monday, December 2, 2013

Shop Til You Drop

It's here…..
the season that separates the 
bargain sales shopper 
from the seriously deranged 

The bargain shopper has the heart and sole 
for a good sale…
and will haul ass at the crack 
of dawn on Black Friday
to get a deal...

as compared to 

the seriously lunatic shopper 

who is also in it for the bargains, 
but even more for the sport…
the competition. 

They are In it to Win it.
Outwit, Outplay, Outlast.


The holiday shopping competition 
starts earlier each year...
(Survivors ready? )
with some stores opening on Thanksgiving.

Shoppers who hit stores after Turkey dinner 
are determined to bring home the bargain…
(you wanna know what you are playing for?)
or have had enough of Aunt Mildred's broken record.
You have to be careful shopping in these circles…
they ain't for the faint of heart. 
You have to be prepared for a battle of 
pepper spray and stampedes.
Shop 'til you drop...dead.
(The Tribe has spoken.)

This Kat doesn't have the energy to leave her couch on Thanksgiving.
The chance of me leaving a warm house
and entering a cold brick-and-mortar store 
of steely eyed strangers 
ready to tangle
over a tv, tablet, or toaster?
...slim jim of a chance.

I admit I haven't been much of a cyber shopper 
but now I'm thinking 
I may have to sharpen my fingers.
I need to invest in a suit of armor.

Old school holiday shopping 
has become way too competitive for this Kat.

Sunday, December 1, 2013

Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit

The turkey's been 

The pie's been 

And the
"loose corn"
finally found some morals.

the Thanksgiving 4 day
eatfest is


I have PaulA 
in the da house 
to remind me 
it's the first of the month.

I just might have a shot at 
a month of good luck.

you filthy animals.

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Let's Talk Turkey

Thanksgiving is coming...
my favorite holiday of the year. 

There are no presents involved 
so I'm safe from getting the… 
"what were you thinking?" look.
“Whhaaaat??  I thought everyone loved toe socks.”

The best part about Thanksgiving is getting together with family 
(although there are others who might's the worse)
and, of course, 
there's the 
extended enjoyable eating extravaganza. 

The meal really isn’t that difficult to make…you just need a lot of it. 
Basically turkey, potatoes, stuffing, and vegetables. 
There are no wild expectations of a 
gourmet plum-glazed Mongolian turkey with foie gras. 
My niece told me a couple of years ago...
that she looks forward to the loose corn.
(yes, that's the frozen corn, 
that I expertly heat up.)
This Kat has major culinary skills.

I wonder if anyone has kept track of the 
average number of calories 
eaten on Thanksgiving Day. 
I hope not.
They deserve to be hit over the head 
with a turkey leg.
 Thanksgiving is not the time to be counting calories.
It's the time to 
unbuckle the belt, 
pop the buttons, 
loosen the skirt…
and make room for a second
and third piece of pie. 


I look forward to gathering with our family, 
with a bountiful feast; 

circa 2005

just like the Pilgrims and Indians did 
(minus the comfy couch)
in Plymouth 
hundreds of years ago.

Happy Thanksgiving to my family in Vermont 
and to my country rocker son, 

who couldn’t be with us at our table. 
I love you and miss you. 
Have a great day and I’ll be thinking of you….
while I'm on the comfy couch...
tripped out on 

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Last Call for Droid

Goodbye Droid
may you rest in peace
in the back of my bureau drawer
with the other dead beat phones 
of year's gone by.

I was afraid that D Day would come.
For months I had tried resuscitating it...
But it kept calling it a day and
turning itself off. 

So after 3 years
it was time to let dear Droid go.
It was last call for Droid.
 I knew it was going to be hard to say goodbye.
After all, Droid and I had been BFFs for so long.
Dear Droid had always been there for me...
on call...
at my beck and call...
 (even with me pressing its buttons
on a daily basis.)

A tear 
slid down my cheek
as I threw Droid into the
cemetery drawer of run down phones.


My next Verizon phone "upgrade" was not to be...
until January 15th.
(dang, those kids for stealing my updates.)

I decided to go into the Verizon store and charm them
 into an early upgrade …
(yes, that's exactly how they reacted to my charm.)

Okay, so no early upgrade for me….
but they gave me a deal….
(yes, that's them laughing at the "deal" they gave me.)

Meet my new Bff 
bigger, faster, and sexier
(yes, phones can be sexy.
You've heard of Call girls.)

And should sexy Galaxy not be good to me...
and answer the 
call of duty
whenever I ask....
I have put it on notice:
you will be replaced.
(I'm calling the shots now.)

ps. call out...
to whom it may concern,
(just saying.)

Call me, maybe?

Tuesday, November 12, 2013


If you are into numbers...
you probably love today's date,

Although I'm not a numerologist
or an -ologist of any kind….
(except maybe a blogologist) 
I love the consecutive numbers.
(who's counting)
happens to be 
my father's 82 nd birthday.
(go Gerald, it's your birthday)


Apparently there are a lot couples getting married today.
Normally a Tuesday in November, 
wouldn't be so popular...
but 11-12-13
makes it unique...
no excuse what-so-ever
for the hubby to forget an anniversary.

If I was getting married, I probably 
wouldn't be tempted by the 
consecutive date...
especially because Tuesdays 
sound so Ho Hum.

 I was getting married in the Bahamas mon.
Down there every day is 
the perfect day 

for a celebration.

Happy Birthday, Father