Monday, December 2, 2013

Shop Til You Drop

It's here…..
the season that separates the 
bargain sales shopper 
from the seriously deranged 

The bargain shopper has the heart and sole 
for a good sale…
and will haul ass at the crack 
of dawn on Black Friday
to get a deal...

as compared to 

the seriously lunatic shopper 

who is also in it for the bargains, 
but even more for the sport…
the competition. 

They are In it to Win it.
Outwit, Outplay, Outlast.


The holiday shopping competition 
starts earlier each year...
(Survivors ready? )
with some stores opening on Thanksgiving.

Shoppers who hit stores after Turkey dinner 
are determined to bring home the bargain…
(you wanna know what you are playing for?)
or have had enough of Aunt Mildred's broken record.
You have to be careful shopping in these circles…
they ain't for the faint of heart. 
You have to be prepared for a battle of 
pepper spray and stampedes.
Shop 'til you drop...dead.
(The Tribe has spoken.)

This Kat doesn't have the energy to leave her couch on Thanksgiving.
The chance of me leaving a warm house
and entering a cold brick-and-mortar store 
of steely eyed strangers 
ready to tangle
over a tv, tablet, or toaster?
...slim jim of a chance.

I admit I haven't been much of a cyber shopper 
but now I'm thinking 
I may have to sharpen my fingers.
I need to invest in a suit of armor.

Old school holiday shopping 
has become way too competitive for this Kat.

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