Sunday, March 31, 2013

Happy Easter

What's in your basket?

I hope E. B. left you a basketful of goodies.
(make mine chocolate)

Even husbands get baskets.
found a 
tape measure in his basket -
heavy duty
25 ft. 
 dark blue 
E. B. went all out.
(not sure why he didn't look more excited.)


I remember an Easter...
back in the day...
when was just a kitten
(not this ole alley Kat.)
 E.B. brought me the best basket ever.

Nestled in the green plastic grass...

I found

jelly beans,

candy cigarettes,

 and a pen in the shape of a cigar.  

To me...
there was nothin' better than a
“Jr. Smoker’s Easter Basket.”
(This kitten purred with happiness.) 
I loved doing my homework with my cigar pen,
while smoking my candy cigarettes...
very relaxing.

I hope your Easter was as smokin’
as mine was...
back in the day.

Hoppy Easter

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Getting the Last Laugh

"They" say laughter is the best medicine
and I agree…
except when laughter 
gets you a fine or 
lands you in jail.
That just isn't funny.

There is a 42 year old man from Long Island 
who was charged for 
"disturbing the peace" 
because of laughing...
in his own home. 
He could get fined 500 dollars or get 30 days in jail.

He admits he frequently breaks out into laughter 
from his bathroom window 

as he calls it... 
a "hardy giggle."
(weirdo alert)

His laughter was making his neighbor mad
in many ways,
 so the neighbor called the cops.  

The cops have been called different times 
throughout the years...
so there is probably more going on between them.
There's probably a score to settle
or old grudges festering 
over things like...

not returning a chain saw,
the backyard chicken coop,
 loud music late at night
(but enough about how I irritate the neighbors.)

It will be interesting to see who gets the 
last laugh.


I admit it….
I, too, have gotten "in trouble" for laughing, 
but thank goodness...
no fine or time for me.

When I was in college, 
my friend who lived next door in the dorm 
frequently complained about my laughing. 

It's not like I was laughing 
for no apparent reason.
I had good reason…his name was PaulA.  
PaulA always had me in stitches whenever he visited.   
(btw-I still have that white with blue gauze shirt.)

I had no idea how she could hear me laughing 
through the walls.  
The dorm room walls were as thick and solid as 
those of a prison cell. 
Apparently my laughter could permeate concrete.

Now that I think about it…
it's really funny ...
how much my laughter bugged her.

now I'm cracking myself up.

I love getting the 
last laugh.

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Dustin Lynch - Colin on Jimmy Kimmel Live

Well I did it.  

This Kat stayed awake 
 to watch 
Jimmy Kimmel Live

11:35pm - 12:37am.

I'm not usually up late 
watching television…
ala a late night owl  
or slinking around 
ala an alley Kat...

there wasn't 
"a Kat in hell's chance"
(huh? weird expression)
that I was going to miss seeing 
Colin play with Dustin Lynch 
on Jimmy Kimmel last night.

My excitement for them 
probably helped to keep
 my eyelids open
the Katnap that I took around 10:30pm 
didn't hurt.


I could have easily watched the videos
  of their performance today, 
and not missed any much needed beauty sleep,
but watching it last night
in the moment 
was soooo much fun.

Great show, guys.

Colin, I'll always be your #1 Fan.

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Happy 7th Twitterversary

Today is the 7th anniversary 
of the first 

Co-founder Jack Dorsey 
(wish I was the other founder) 
sent the first tweet which read, 
 "just setting up my twttr."

I might have gone with:
  "Twitter is gonna make us rich, RICH, RICH." 

I remember 
Alexander Graham Bells' first words  
on his
telephone call 
to his assistant, Thomas Watson 
137 years ago... 
(Not that I was born 137 years ago. 
I was born the year after.)

"Mr. Watson-come here-I want to see you." 

ummm...I'm thinking that lacked pizzaz.

I'm liking
"yo yo Wat, wassup-get back here"
so much better.


Now words like 
re-tweet and 
have become a part of our vocab.
(They might even be on school spelling lists.)

In honor of Twitter's 7th Twitterversary…
I am posting 

My Twitter Tongue Twister

Twanda Twain tweeted a twit of twittered tweets.
A twit of twittered tweets Twanda Twain tweeted.
If Twanda Twain tweeted a twit of twittered tweets
How many tweets of twitter did Twanda Twain Tweet?


Wednesday, March 20, 2013

First Day of Spring?

My calendar is saying that 
today is 
the first day of 


my backyard is saying



I think we need to fire
Punxsutawney Phil.

That rodent
had my hopes up for an early spring...
and he didn't deliver.

I'm sure there is another species 
 that could do a better job...

ze Kat, maybe?

Happy First Day of Spring

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Hostess with the Most-est

Hostess lovers can relax...
Twinkies, Ding Dongs, and Ho Ho's  
live to see another shelf 
which by some calculations  is at least 60 years.

Four months ago,
(after facing a Host ess of problems)
was forced to
shut down its production 

which caused massive
Twinkie Hoarding.

you're gonna need a bigger cubicle.

But alas...
Twinkie Lovers Rejoice.
The company that bought
Pabst Blue Ribbon beer
has also bought

Nothing like a PBR to wash down a Ho Ho.

PBR and a Ho Ho...

sure will give new meaning to 
"Hostess with the most-est"


You wouldn't find me hoarding a Twinkie.
There is another 
snack that takes my cake.

I have an ultra affinity 
for the Devil Dog...

which goes back to my elementary school days.  

I frequently found the little devil 
rolling around the bottom of my brown-bag lunch.  
Thank you mom.

Each creme-filled chocolately dog provided me 
with all the daily vitamins 
that have helped me to grow into this 
that I am.

Woah, wait a minute...
something just occurred to me...
the answer to why I blog.

I have asked myself "Why" 
for a few years now
and today the answer comes to me...

"The Devil made me do it."

Viva la Devil Dog

Friday, March 15, 2013

Hello, Anybody home?

The home phone
is becoming a dinosaur...
"The Telephonosaurus"

and we don't have the ice age or asteroids
 to blame on it's extinction.

Now we all own 
cell phones 
that ring
Bruce…Beiber…or...Beyonce tunes 
in our pockets or purses.

I remember back in the day
when our phone at home would ring 
and we'd jump to answer it…

had to know who was on the other end. 

And if it wasn't for you,
 you'd yell 
(hey, who ya calling a so-and-so?) 

Then you'd stretch the cord as far as it could go 
to get another 4 inches of privacy.

And whenever you heard:
 you'd break your neck or stub your toe
 to get to the phone ASAP.   
With long distance calls there was no dilly dallying.
  Extra tick tocks on the clock were costly.

I didn't get long distance calls…
until I met my boyfriend, (turned husband) 
Nothing was more exciting than hearing: 

  Knowing that PaulA was breathing on the other end 
(okay, not scary heavy breathing) 
I'd drop whatever I was doing, 
run through the house, 
jump over the dog,
 and grab the phone.  

Our home phone rarely rings these days.
I would venture to say, that is the case in most households.  
And usually the person calling your home phone
 is someone you'd rather not hear from,
 let alone break anything for.   
Let it ring.


I also remember calling home from college…
which meant using the pay phone 
on our dorm floor.  

One phone was shared by 
30 girls on the same 
"call home on Sunday" schedule.

We would all have to wait and take turns, 
and wait some more…

It's sounds crazy when I think about it now.

And when it was my turn... 

I found a way to settle in. 

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

No Pope Today

The First Conclave Has Spoken. 

The first round of balloting has taken place today, 
ending in black smoke 
up the chimney of the 
Sistine chapel

...signaling to the outside world…

no pope for you.

In order for a new Pope to be elected 
there must be a 2/3 majority… 
that is, 
77 out of the 115 cardinals,
 have to agree.

Let's just hope the cardinals can come to an agreement 
easier and faster 
than our politicians in Washington.
the cardinals will be spending 
lots of hard time conclaving...
we shall remain POPEless.


I don't think there is an obvious front runner 
for the next Pope. 
 Will he be African, American, Canadian?

Seeing March Madness begins next week,
 I think it is only fitting that we talk bracketology
to help us figure this out.  
Just as with basketball,
 there are some years when
 it is harder to pick the
 obvious front-runner.   

Will a sleeper cardinal pull off a major upset 
and be elected pope...
and shock everyone?
Stay Tuned.

You gotta love Pope Madness, folks.

The Sweet Sistine

This particular bracket has the
 cardinal from Nigeria 
elected POPE.

So who do you have going to the 
Final Four?

I just hope the winner…
whoever he is...
gets to cut down a net
before he starts his new job.

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Papa Joe - 3.07.01

Today marks the 12th anniversary 
of the passing of Papa Joe…
a deeply spiritual man 
whose personality, strength, and love  
is truly missed.

No matter how much you've prepared yourself,
 it is always hard to lose a parent….
one you've looked up to, 
learned from,
 and loved for so long.

And so..
in dealing with grief…
we look to our faith to bring us solace …
to help bring us comfort.


I'm remembering this day 12 years ago 
when Papa passed away
and the extreme sadness we all felt. 

I remember walking into Chelsea's bedroom 
when she wasn't there 
and noticing how "Big C" …
who was 15 at the time,
had her Bible, rosary beads, and picture of Papa 
out on her bed.  

At age 15, 
and being a typical tired teenager,
attending Sunday mass every Sunday 
was very much in competition for 
extra morning zzz's.
this day 12 years ago…
it was 
her religion, 
and shared understanding 
 of her grandfather's faith 
that helped her through this difficult day.

Papa, we love you 
and miss you.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Thank You, Jennifer Lawrence

And the "Thank You" goes to

Jennifer Lawrence

for tripping up the stairs 
on her way to pick up her Oscar 
at the Academy Awards….

 making us feel like
"movie stars" are 
"regular" people.

Not only did Jennifer win 
"Best Actress"
in my book,
she won the
 "Best trip up the stairs and I'm embarrassed to get up" Award.

When I saw her on the stairs…
I could relate…
put myself in her gown.
Maybe not as "Best Actress," 
and not in that gown,
 but I could totally trip up the stairs.  
I've actually done it countless times.

Back in the day... 
during my freshman year in college 
Our dorm floor handed out awards at the end of the year.
  The awards were decorated paper plates…
with a simple description for each girl. 
"cleanest" girl
"dirtiest" girl 
(you know what I mean)

I was the recipient of the 
"Klutzy" award. 

 When "they" handed me the award, 
they said I had the 
"unique talent of tripping up the stairs."
 Hey, it does take a special ability and 
the award was hard earned.
If I tripped going down, 
I would have won 
"Most Broken Bones" Award 
which would have been sooo much easier to win.  


Jennifer Lawrence 
(although very deserving of her award) 
was probably lucky she didn't have 
The Iron Lady, Meryl Streep,
 as competition this year.

And I'm just saying...
I could have given
some stiff competition in the 
"Klutzy" category.
Just saying.