DWTS..."Picking Teams"

Have you been watching 

DWTS?

I used to watch, but I haven't this season.  

There was a time I was all about 

sambas, 

salsas,

six packs

and 

spray-on tans.

but now I'm all about

But I do know what's been going on with DWTS.  

I heard that Carrie Ann and Arbor.  

(Okay, google says it's...Carrie Ann Inaba)

fell out of her chair 

while excitedly clapping for a sexy male dancer.

Apparently, she was not sloshed to the gills, 

but was so hot and bothered by the Giles 

performance 

that she was knocked off her seat...
(both of them.)

I've also heard that Bristol Palin got the

 boot and 

swift kick of the high heel.

She is now off the show...

which was sad for Ms. Bristol Palin.

But even sadder than that....was

BEFORE Bristol was 

booted, kicked, and shit-canned....

she was the last person 

to be picked for the team dances.  

Ahhhhh.....The horror of being chosen last.

Anywhoooo....

The thought of two team captains...

standing there 

each taking turns choosing members for their team is a 

middle school nightmare.

I remember times in middle school 

when the gym teacher chose 2 team captains 

and allowed them to take turns picking members for their own teams.   

Do they still do this? 

(Tell me it ain't so.)

I'l never forget the suspense standing there 

in my one-piece gym uniform...

with my knees knocking...

waiting to get picked.  

I didn't care what number I was chosen..

but dear God...

let it not be last.

So I'd try to put on a good game face and... 

look like a playa.

I'd try to make myself look

taller

 bigger 

faster

.  

but any way I tried to present myself...

I was still a peanut 

with little legs 

and weak arms.

At least there is some consolation for Bristol.

Her dance uniforms...

were waaay cuter than the uniform 

I was forced to wear back in the day.