Monday, March 29, 2010

Beaker Breakthrough

Recent studies have shown progesterone has helped traumatic brain-injured patients in both men and women. Woah…Wait …progesterone is a female hormone. If my name was Tom, Dick, or Jerry…I might worry about being on the receiving end of a female hormone. (No play on words intended.)

Scientists say there is no cause for alarm regarding any ill effects from receiving progesterone. They first tested the treatment on rats…and I’m not talking the Tiger Woods variety. I’m talking the rats that travel in other skanky circles… laboratory rats. Scientists swear on their glass beakers that the treatment doesn’t give males female characteristics……
………although they can’t promise you won’t meet up with a couple of your girlfriends every Saturday at the mall for a light lunch and shoe shopping.


Last year a young man from Georgia was in a coma following a car accident. He was rushed to the hospital and given progesterone which helped in the speed of his recovery…spending almost a year less in the hospital. The scientists have found that progesterone is critical for normal development of brain cells and reduces swelling from trauma. A beaker breakthrough.

And if the young Georgia man, who has since completely recovered, for some reason starts putting the toilet seat back down after every use, cries during Hugh Grant movies, and color coordinates his outfits …I would consider getting in touch with his feminine added bonus.