Computer Talk

Do you mind talking to a computer? I despise it…to put it hatefully. When I call a business, I want to talk to a real person. The so-called options they give…don’t always apply. If they only had the option: Press 5 for…complaints about business who won’t let you talk to a person….I might feel better.

When I can’t get around the computer…it yanks me off…so I start experimenting with my language. Voice recognition taken to a higher (or is that lower) level. Sometimes I say “@$!*&” just to see if that registers with anything. I guess computers are not programmed to recognize swear words. Hey, if I was a computer programmer…I would have a little fun with that when no one was looking over my shoulder.

The other day I called information for a phone number, but for some reason got to laughing. Probably because my mouth was full of food. The computer apologized that it couldn’t understand me…which made me laugh harder. I was in one of those stupid laughing jags that is very fourth grade…but heck, fourth grade was so much fun.

Then I decided to act my age and not Duncandog’s age…and speak clearly to the computer (after all, they do threaten that the call is being recorded.) So I asked for the number for “Jones” and the computer responded: “I’m sorry did you say Heizenhowerstanski?” I yelled into the phone: "Hello, you !%$^!”!@ computer person…Do Jones and Heizenhowerstanki sound similar?"

Sometimes there is just no getting around it…you have to go through 10 different options with a computer before getting an actual person. Many times I just hang up because I have started to pull my hair out…and then I remember I hate wearing hats.

Maybe I should have options for my own voicemail.

“This is Kat…in order to serve you better please choose one of the following options. Please listen carefully to all of the options before choosing.

Press 1…to tell Kat you love her blog.
Press 2…to get kat’s blog address.
Press 3…to give to the katOUT Fund.
Press 4…to join the katOUT Fan Club.
Press 5… to tell Kat you love her blog.
Thank you and goodbye………katOUT”