Thursday, February 26, 2009

96 Hour Nap

Recent Headline: Miracle Recovery Astounds Man’s Family. California man wakes up from coma after 96 hours - just before family decides to take him off life support.

They say 96 hours like it was an eternity. Heck, if you divide that by 24…you only get 4 days. Who gives up all hope for a loved one in 4 days? The family is ready to throw the towel in on his life after 96 hours? Do they have the grave digger on speed dial or what??

I might understand that if you’re in a coma for 4 months…your family’s hopes are dashed. And after 4 years your family’s hopes are crushed. But 4 days? It takes longer than 4 days to get over a bad cold. It makes me wonder what the family’s intentions were. Heck, he was 56…not 96…he still has a lot of life left in his life tank. Which brings me to two words…Life Insurance, Baby. Okay that was 3 words, but you know where I’m headed here.

Was the family looking at this as an opportunity to cash in or cash out? “Hey, It’s our lucky day…we can just pull the plug on pops here, instead of the other option of making it look like a random accident, or an incident with an intruder. All we have to do is cut the circuit. How easy is this!”

Having life insurance can be a slippery slope. Luckily for me, PaulA doesn’t have major amounts on my head. He might be better off with me alive than dead. I have to be worth something. I do make a mean meatloaf.

I know it’s a good thing to have life insurance…and very important, especially if you are young and want to make sure your family is provided for. That way Junior can continue to sit in the house and play video games all day. The downside is that your life can be reduced to a prime number.

If that was me and I woke up to my family with the plug in their hands…I would be pissed off. Especially after learning they were calling it over…after 96 hours. That’s like taking away someone’s food because they didn’t finish it in the amount of time you’d expect…Wait, that was the waitress at dinner last night. Our waitress might be related to them.

If I was this man (thank god I’m not) I would let my family know that my coma was a test and they all failed miserably. An "F" for "Fat chance of getting my life insurance." I would let them know that I had them all on ‘watch.’

Should I have the sudden mishap of being in a coma for 4 days…please give ole Kat some more time before pulling the plug...sometimes I like a good nap.

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