Tuesday, January 27, 2009


Greetings from Central Florida!!!

I'm actually sitting in an internet cafe in Wauchula, FL. You probably have never heard of Wauchula...it's even hard to find on a map. Anyway, I am visiting my parents and my Grandmother who is turning 94 and Ellie who is 91. Suddenly I don't feel as old as I did last week. This blog is an "oldie" ....but ironically as I post from the 'Java Internet Cafe"...it has to do with coffee.

The Starbucks Encounter......

Today I was in another town and had some time to kill so I found a Starbucks…which was easy. Isn’t there one on ever corner? I had my book, so why not park my butt in a warm trendy coffee shop? Only problem was, I felt like a fraud…like all the alarms were going off the minute I stepped in the door. You see, I’m a Dunkin Donuts regular and I just crossed over to the other side.

I wasn’t sure how to order the different coffee sizes, so I motioned with my fingers to indicate a small decaff. The barista handed me my coffee, “Here you are (Don’t say Maam.)…one tall decaff.” (Darn thing looks short to me.) So I took my small/tall coffee and looked around…nice couches, chairs by the fireplace, tables…(very posh). The only problem was everything was taken…except one table in the corner with a chair that faced the wall. Yep…that would be my table. After all, I am a coffee fraud so I deserve to face the wall.

So I sat down and cranked my neck around. Who’s here? Let’s see…some cappuccino moms with hot chocolate kids in tow. An espresso woman in for a quick jolt. A yuppie caramel frappuccino couple with a mocha syrup baby in a carrier… a skinny latte teenager and a Chi tea babe.

I’m not sure why I feel like a fraud at Starbucks or what they do to make me feel this way. Maybe because their coffee pourers are called baristas. I overheard a woman order a special coffee that had 8 adjectives, 6 adverbs and a couple of nouns. The barista got it right the first time. Heck, I could never work there…I just don’t have that much memory in my bank. Then the coffee expert made something that sounded like a 747 landing…and no one ducked for cover…except me.

Maybe because they play Starbucks CDs recorded at their own record label which are configured to make you linger and drink more coffee.

Maybe because coffee can cost…4 to 5 bucks. I admit, I felt like an alien that was dropped on to another planet…Planet DarkRoast. I tried to fit in – but I think they could tell….I am a fraud. I am not one of them. I’m a Dunkin Donuts regular. I’m not thinking of crossing over again too soon. I guess I’m just your average Joe who likes a cup of Joe…without all the fuss.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I, too, feel as though I have a big pink and orange 'DD" tattooed on my forehead when I walk into a Starbucks! I ask for the smallest coffee that tastes like Dunkin'Donuts and I never get it... I started giving away the Starbucks gift cards that I get on occasion. They are like the fruitcakes of the Dunkin' Donuts set..they just get passed around!

At least there was no snow/sleet/ice when you stepped out of the grandefrenchvanillaonepumpespressomochacchino coffee shop!