The Perfect Gift

I hope Santa was good to everyone this Christmas and you got that special something on your list. I must have been a good girl…I got that something special from Santa PaulA. He definitely wins points for bestowing on me…the best gift a husband could present a wife.

Okay, it wasn’t the diamond watch. My gift doesn’t sparkle or twinkle…but I am waay past the glitz of bling. My special gift warms my heart and my ass….the original electric blanket. And it’s the deluxe model…dual controls….automatic shut-off. Yowzer. The person who said “diamonds are a girl’s best friend”…is probably a jeweler trying to make a buck. An electric blanket is THIS girl’s best friend...electronics and warmth all rolled into one. Who could ask for anything more? Besides it weighs a lot less than the hefty heat machine next to me. PaulA does emit a lot of body heat, but he doesn’t come with an automatic shut-off.

I finally understand Linus and why he always has his blanket…I would love to walk around with mine but I can’t find an extension cord long enough…plugging and re-plugging is a pain.

There is nothing like getting into a warm bed. No more cold sheet…frigid feet…frosty seat. (okay, it rhymes.) I cranked the blanket to 10...and I was in heat wave heaven. Lying there I began wondering….is this okay for me to be underneath a 12 watt charged blanket? What if the electric blanket is the precursor to the electric chair. Why doesn’t everyone own one? Maybe they know something I don’t. Maybe it’s like the microwave…after years of use we find out that the waves it emits are dangerous to our health and we will glow years past the day we are buried toes up. What if the electronics on my new blanket are faulty, and the wires overheat and burst into flames? Note to self: google keywords: electric blanket/mishaps/sudden fires.

I wonder if I’m devloping a tan while I sleep. Maybe after spending a few nights under the blanket, I will look like I’ve spent some time in Cancun...ole chica. Not only a good night’s sleep but an all-over tan. Note to self: market new get-rich idea…an electric tanning blanket.

I have to admit…lying in my bed under my electric blanket…I kinda felt like a toaster strudel…warm on the inside, crispy on the outside. ….but oh…so saweeeeett…..