Check It at the Door

Sometimes people request that you leave your shoes at the front door before entering their homes…not a problem. Back in the day during Christmas, our kids had a twist on that request. Could Santa leave the presents at the front door?...a problem.

They were scared out of their minds by this guy. I’m not sure what they were most afraid of. Was it his looks….the extra-long white natty beard, rosy wind-burned SLASH alcohol-flushed cheeks, the Jack Nicholson-ish twinkle in his eye, the Heavy Weight Champion of the World buckle, his big ass boots…not to mention his big ass. And an all red suit??? Red is definitely not the new black.

No. I actually think they were okay with his looks...they had seen their mother without make-up. It was that they just didn’t want this strange man entering our house. They wanted him to stop by…but check the gifts at the front door, please. Think about it…you’re 8 years old…and you’re lying in your bed on Christmas Eve. You know tonight is the night. It’s the night the stranger comes to visit. And you are supposed to sleep knowing that?

Most people think kids can’t get to sleep because they’re shaking with excitement…thinking about the toys Santa will bring. But in fact, they can’t get to sleep because they’re shaking with terror…thinking about the stranger. They’ve been taught not to talk to strangers…and then suddenly it’s okay for a stranger to enter the house….in the middle of the night….while the whole house sleeps? Some guy is in their house creeping around in the dark and they are left wondering, “Why is everyone okay with that? What about the stranger-danger talks…the ‘rents must have a few screws loose.”

But on Christmas morning…after they got a look at the truck load of toys the big guy dumped on them…the odd stranger was a good guy.

A couple of days later…I had cause for concern. I did notice they had an affinity for a large man in a bad suit donning a chapeau…at the video store. I decided I better have that talk again.