Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Clean Living

Throw open the windows…let the fresh air in. It’s springtime, baby.

For some folks this time of year means one thing…spring cleaning. For other folks…well, not so much. But I hear there are people who posses the clean gene. The gene that makes them want to do a deep, thorough, annual cleaning to their home. It also gives them an affinity to white suits and eventually leaves them bald.

They dry-clean curtains, and wash the windows, inside and outside. Get the ladder out and dust in out of reach places. Clean carpets. Etc. etc.

I might be missing the Mr. Clean gene, (I like black suits), but I have the Heloise gene. And lucky for all you spring clean freaks, I have a tip for you: Break out the vodka.

I have discovered (through the internet…not by taste) that vodka works wonders on most everything except maybe hangovers. Probably most of you, who regularly clean, already know about the vodka miracle…but this Kat is just catchin’ on as to why some of my friends enjoy cleaning so much.

I have learned that vodka works magic on scuff marks on walls, doors, and banisters. Not to mention removing spots on carpets and disinfecting toilets and trash cans. I’ve always tried to get out of an annual spring cleaning. But now I’m thinking of imbibing. Who knew cleaning could be so much fun.

The cleanest people I know come from Russia and Poland. I once had a Polish cleaning lady (OK, I KNOW I’m spoiled) who was always so happy and agreeable…and now I know it wasn’t the ammonia she was sniffing. She spent hours wiping the walls... “one shot for wall”… “one shot for Danusha.”


I have also learned that vodka also has many other uses. It can remove the oil from your skin exposed to poison ivy and prevent the rash. It can dry out those nasty cold sores, and work as a facial cleaner by removing oil and tightening pores. Bring it on.

Add a shot of vodka to every bottle of shampoo and it will help prevent build-up and remove old reside from your hair. If you happen to be pulled over by a cop…I’m sure they’ll understand that it is only your hair shaft that’s been drinking and not you.

One added suggestion: Use the Popov for disinfection…but save the Grey Goose for ingestion.

If after you’ve done a thorough spring cleaning…and had enough clean living for the season….I say, “get down and dirty.” Just add a little olive juice to your vodka cleaner and you’ll have the perfect dirty martini.

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