Monday, March 16, 2009

What a Doll!

Have you heard the news? Barbie turned 50! Doesn’t she look amazing for 50? She hasn’t aged a bit…nothing has changed or been rearranged. I know one thing…I wouldn’t want to stand next to that Biotch.

For some reason Barbie’s body has defied gravity…everything has remained in the same place. At age 50, nothing is left hanging or drooping. Her figure still resembles an hour glass and not a root vegetable. In all her years, she has not gained a pound…let alone an ounce. With her trim figure she can still wear all the new fashions and designer clothes. Her legs are still long, lean, and toned. Her arms aren’t flabby and don’t jiggle like Jello when she juggles. How is this possible? I think Skipper doubles as her personal trainer.

Barbie is a perfect 10 from head to toe. Her hair isn’t even graying, balding, or snowing. And her feet still have nice high arches…perfect for the latest strappy heels. Nothing fallen, corned, or blistered.

She’s still got that perfect flawless skin…granted, a little shiny at times. No aging can be seen in her face either. No lines, wrinkles, or pitfalls. No crow’s feet, pigeon’s feet, age spots, or bird droppings. Her lips are plump and full. How is this possible? I think Ken doubles as her plastic surgeon.

I would like to say a little something to Miss Barbie: “You think you are such a doll. Come on Barbie…be real. Without a few love handles and muffin tops…you haven’t lived.”

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