LOST dog

Duncandog is one smart dog. As soon as his invisible fence is not working…he crosses it. It doesn’t take him long before he knows…he can jump his fence, blow his popsicle stand, get out of his dodge. He’s outta here…not sticking around for any goodbyes. No sayonaras from the Duncandog.

When I first realized my damn dog was missing…my heart jumped with joy. I mean, skipped a beat. Poor Dundandog LOST…all alone in the big bad world. What would become of his poochie butt? I could just picture him with his head hanging low, slowly walking…down the rail road tracks…looking for an old abandoned train car to live in. Eating crumbs off the ground. Dying of thirst. My poor Duncandog. Dreaming of his family that paid him so much attention.

“Oh Duncandog…oh Duncan,” I bellowed. How could I ever forgive myself for ever trash talking him? I hung my head in shame, as I walked through the ‘hood’ looking for him. I vowed to make it up to him and be the best dog owner ever.

Not so fast…wait a minute…is that 4-legged movement I see next door. Is that my Duncandog in the new neighbor’s yard? Could that be Duncandog hanging out with their landscaper guys? It looks like him…but this dog couldn’t be him…this dog looks too delirious with happiness. He’s jumping and prancing and wagging his tail. That couldn’t be my sad dog lost in the big bad world.

OMG, I think that is my damn dog. That’s Duncandog… getting attention from 4 guys…saying nice things, rubbing his back and scratching him behind his ears. Wait, did one of them just give him part of his lunch…a roast beef sandwich with Swiss cheese, lettuce, tomato on pumpernickel.…his all time favorite? OMG…that SOB (Son of a Female dog)…is having lunch and playing games next door…while I am wracked with worry over his well-being.

I walk over to wring Duncandog’s neck and yank him home…I mean, hug his neck and tell him how worried I was. One of the guys reassures me, “Hey Lady…I hope you weren’t worried about your dog. He’s been hanging out with us and he’s even been inside the house.” I look at Duncan who is smiling so big…so big I can see his canines. “OH really!!! Thanks …You don’t know how sick with worry I’ve been.”

Just wait Duncandog….wait ‘till I get your poochie butt home. You can stop smiling anytime.