Friday, December 9, 2011

Picture Sitting With Santa

'Tis the Season
to sit on Santa's lap

This past weekend I had the pleasure torture
of waiting for a picture to print from a scanner at Walmart.
But lucky for me...
seated nearby was the entertainment...
Santa, himself.

Or a wanna-be Santa.

He definitely wasn't your glitzy, glammed up MALL SANTA...
seated in a big chair in a festively designed North Pole
holding Center Court
with adorable Santa elfs.

This Santa wore a tired old suit...
and was seated on a rickety park bench
with a flimsy cardboard holiday scene set up behind him.
His helper elf  was a frenzied woman in a Walmart vest
from the camera dept.

He definitely was
Well, at least I thought so...
and, apparently, so did the kids.

As children strolled by the area with their parents...
Santa would heckle them...
"Hey Kids, come over here...
Come see Santa.
Hey. Hey.

He stopped short of twirling his mustache...
and entincing them with,
" Come here little kid. Ya want some candy."

The kids would look at their parents with the expression,
 "You gotta be kidding me? You really want me to sit with this guy."

Admittedly, this was fun for me to watch as I waited.
I have a sick sophisticated sense of humor.


It was a struggle for LOW-BUDGET SANTA to get any business.
Parents seemed perturbed that their kid wouldn't run over and jump on his lap for a picture.
And why would that be?

"Mingling with strangers" is a Big NO-NO in a Kids's Manual to Growing Up...
especially strangers offering candy...
even if it comes in cane form.
They've learned their lesson well. 
All this guy needed was the playful puppy with him
and he would have been the
triple threat of strangers.

I say to these parents...
"Give your kid a pat on the back. Your child should go directly to the Head of the Class."

You never know who or what could be hiding behind that big white beard.

So don't be surprised when little junior and juniorette
freak out having to sit on Santa's lap.
At least you will get a pic to remember..............

And if you want half a chance of getting a picture of your kid with Santa...
for St. Nick's Sake...
at least bring them to the professional Santa
at the mall.

ho ho ho


Frances said...

Your post reminded me of this link someone sent me the other day:

so funny!

B.Healy said...

hahaha such a funny photo!!! santas scary!