Do you get attached to “objects?” Inanimate objects? Not intimate objects…but ones that are just as personal.
Sometimes it’s hard NOT to get attached to things. A cell phone, fan, curling iron…become part of our daily lives and our routine….so much so, that some objects are given names.
Many people name their cars. I don’t, but I kiss them goodbye when the lease is up. Our friend, BillyA, once owned a car he called “Vincent”. Not sure where he came up with that? Maybe Vincent Price? Poor Vincent was smashed on both ends…front and back..not worth much. Vincent Low Price.
Recently I bought a GPS so that when we’re travelling, we know our location…even on foot. I don’t like the idea of using my cell phone as a GPS and wearing down the battery. A cell phone with a low battery…is dead to me.
I instantly fell in love with my new GPS…so much so…that I thought it was deserving of a name. My parents have one they call “Elvira.” I love that name, but I figured I should come up with my own. But what?
Because the GPS comes with a woman’s voice, I decided to listen to it first before naming her and see what name came to mind. Kinda like new parents who wait until birth to get a look at their child for any distinguishing features. I once knew a family with a child named “Boy”…I guess we know what they saw. There probably is a kid walking around called, “Conehead.”
When I first plugged in and loaded (hold the vodka) my GPS, she started firing off directions…over and over. Woah….slow down woman. She just kept on with her badgering voice. A name instantly came to mind, “Naggy Bitch.” I decided to go with “Bitch”…for short.
Anwhoooooooooooo…………..……
On our last trip in a rental car…PaulA, who would no sooner ask someone for directions than if lost for all eternity…asked if I had my GPS. When I realized my girl wasn’t with me. I said, “You looking for the Bitch? Oh, I locked the Bitch in the trunk.”
He looked at me and said, “You like saying that, don’t you?”
Well. Maybe. But I don’t appreciate anyone else calling my girl, “Bitch.” She’s MY Bitch…forever and always.
Sometimes it’s hard NOT to get attached to things. A cell phone, fan, curling iron…become part of our daily lives and our routine….so much so, that some objects are given names.
Many people name their cars. I don’t, but I kiss them goodbye when the lease is up. Our friend, BillyA, once owned a car he called “Vincent”. Not sure where he came up with that? Maybe Vincent Price? Poor Vincent was smashed on both ends…front and back..not worth much. Vincent Low Price.
Recently I bought a GPS so that when we’re travelling, we know our location…even on foot. I don’t like the idea of using my cell phone as a GPS and wearing down the battery. A cell phone with a low battery…is dead to me.
I instantly fell in love with my new GPS…so much so…that I thought it was deserving of a name. My parents have one they call “Elvira.” I love that name, but I figured I should come up with my own. But what?
Because the GPS comes with a woman’s voice, I decided to listen to it first before naming her and see what name came to mind. Kinda like new parents who wait until birth to get a look at their child for any distinguishing features. I once knew a family with a child named “Boy”…I guess we know what they saw. There probably is a kid walking around called, “Conehead.”
When I first plugged in and loaded (hold the vodka) my GPS, she started firing off directions…over and over. Woah….slow down woman. She just kept on with her badgering voice. A name instantly came to mind, “Naggy Bitch.” I decided to go with “Bitch”…for short.
Anwhoooooooooooo…………..……
On our last trip in a rental car…PaulA, who would no sooner ask someone for directions than if lost for all eternity…asked if I had my GPS. When I realized my girl wasn’t with me. I said, “You looking for the Bitch? Oh, I locked the Bitch in the trunk.”
He looked at me and said, “You like saying that, don’t you?”
Well. Maybe. But I don’t appreciate anyone else calling my girl, “Bitch.” She’s MY Bitch…forever and always.
1 comment:
HAHAHAHAHA!!! Too funny. Loved it!!!
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