Friday, March 18, 2011

The New FACE of AARP

THE envelope arrived yesterday. The one that SCREAMS you’ve reached a certain status…old person status. AARP ( American Association of Retired Persons.) OUCH.

The organization does offer great discounts on car rentals, hotels and Dennys, but people aren’t always excited to hear they’ve reached the ripe ole age to get them. I have found there are 4 levels of acceptance:

Level 1 - Total Denial: immediately tearing up the envelope and throwing it in the trash, then burying it under nasty ass garbage so no one sees it.
Level 2 - Denial: reading the letter and then tossing it away.
Level 3 - Emerging Acceptance: reading the letter and then filing it under “What the hell?” for later consideration.
Level 4: - Acceptance: Paying for membership and running out for 10% OFF Early-Bird Special.

Currently I’m at level 2…Denial. I’m slowly working my way towards Acceptance, but that “don’t come easy.” Two years ago when I was at Level 1…I attacked the envelope. I violently ripped it up with my teeth and claws (did I mention I’m a Kat?)…and buried it under the coffee grinds in our trash. RIP AARP.

Regardless of what level you find yourself at and how many membership envelopes you destroy…AARP will keep sending them. They are persistent little buggers. They aren’t called AARP - Acutely Annoying Relentless Persons…for nothing.


The face of AARP is changing. You don’t have to be a retired citizen to be included in this organization. Membership letters are being sent to those much younger.

Actually the letter we received yesterday was NOT for me or PaulA…but addressed to Brianna. If ever there was a case for LOL…it’s now. She’s only 19. Generation Y….YOUNG.

Apparently AARP is following the “accept and poke anybody” model of Facebook. Both have loosened their membership to include the living and the breathing.

Facebook first started off exclusively for Ivy League colleges, then added all colleges… then high schoolers. Now all us stiffs are on Facebook…working stiffs, old stiffs, and ugly stiffs. AARP is similar…just moving in the opposite direction. Old to young. You frequently hear of people younger than 50 receiving AARP.

The new face of AARP membership is looking younger and younger every day…with or without help from plastic surgeons.


CCH said...

oh my gosh, i laughed out loud and just told Lita too!! hahaha!!

Breezy said...

hahaha hey maybe I can use the discount at Dennys!!