Monday, June 21, 2010

WWMD? What Would Metz Do?

Hey...Ho...Did you hear about the Connecticut man who got his arm stuck in his furnace? Apparently he was cleaning it. Awww…Chim Chiminey. I thought it was enough to clean my house. Now I find out I should be keeping my furnace clean.

Question: What would you do if your arm was stuck in a furnace for three days? Or…in other words: What would Metz do?

Easy. Cut it off. (Hey, he’s from Connecticut…so it makes sense. If he was from Massachusetts, he might have chewed it off.)

That’s what Jonathan Metz of West Hartford, CT decided to do after he got his arm caught while cleaning his oil burner. And how did he arrive at this decision? (Sorry for all the questions....I like asking questions I know the answer to.) He arrived at this incisive decision by asking himself: “What would MacGyver do?” And lucky for Metz, he had some power tool blades…within his good arms reach. So he started sawing away.

I wonder what went through his mind as he was cutting? (More questions for you.) “Okay, first the skin. No problem. Now the tendons...OUCH…very tender. The nerves are gonna take a lot more nerve. Almost more muscle to go. I wish I hadn’t worked out so much…..this job would have been a lot easier, if I wasn’t so buff.”

And screaming for help didn’t help. Luckily for Metz, his buddy was worried about him after he was a NO show for work and a baseball game.

Metz said, “thoughts of his fiancé, his family, his friends, and his dog” got him through his ordeal. Which brings up a BIG question (Yes, another question). Why wasn’t Metz’s fiancée wondering what happened to him after not being in touch for 3 days? What the hell? (You don’t have to answer that question.)

It’s interesting that Metz’s fiancée was first in his thoughts, but apparently he wasn’t first in hers. I think he should reconsider his upcoming nuptials. Dude, she’s just not that into you.


It was resourceful that Metz asked himself, “What would MacGyver do?” But maybe if he asked himself, “What would Houdini do?”...he might still have his arm.

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