Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Uniformly Speaking

How do you feel about uniforms? Uniformly speaking…I like them. There was never a man in uniform more handsome than my dad when he wore his Air Force blues.

There is one uniform, however, that wears on me. I have never been a fan of the UPS brown shorts and socks. Although I hear there are those who are real fans of the UPS exposed knees.

Back when I was gainfully employed, I wore a uniform in the hospital lab. It was actually nice to wake up in the morning and know exactly what I was gonna wear…right down to the white shoes. No decisions. Every day was a white day.


Uniforms can save lots of time and money. I would have slipped our school superintendent cash under the table if he had made school uniforms mandatory. It sure would have made it easier getting Big C out the door. Plus I would have given less at the TajMa Mall. Last I heard, neither Abercrombie nor Fitch is a tax write-off.

Uniforms also bring credence and legitimacy to the wearer. They help to prove to the public that the wearer is official. My white uniform was the way patients in the hospital knew I was legit and not some vampire off the street. Plus uniforms also help us to tell the prison escapees from the rest of the degenerates that walk the earth. The striped uniform is a dead give away.

Actually, there was a trend for inmates to wear jumpsuits instead of stripes...not that I have first hand prison knowledge. But the striped uniform has made a comeback for prison wear...because jumpsuit-clad workers and scrub-clad nurses/doctors were frequently mistaken as inmates.

Let’s face it…black and white stripes add to the prisoner’s punishment and humiliation. Neither horizontal or vertical black and white stripes are particularly fetching. Although there is one exception…my friend Patty totally rocked black and white vertical stripes when she ref-ed lax games.

I wish there was an official Blogger uniform. Maybe that would make me look legit. Pleeease...no black and white stripes.


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