Thursday, June 10, 2010

Short and Sweet

As kids, we did many inventive things with our food…create, palpate, excavate…and sometimes detonate...anything but eaterate. (new word)

And certain foods…we could only eat a certain way. Like cereal. After finishing a bowl of cereal, a kid will pick up the bowl with two hands and drink the milk at the bottom of the bowl. Slurp it down. You would be happy to know I don’t do that anymore.

But there are some kid things, I still do. Hey, you can’t take the kid out of the adult all the time. Can you seriously eat an Oreo without taking it apart? Come on...I can’t be the only one. I pull the cookie apart and first eat the side without frosting. Then I lick the frosting off the other…and finish it off. (This blog, in proof positive of how hard it is to come up with material every day.)

I also eat gingerbread men the same way I did as a kid...95 years ago. If the gingerbread man has eyes…I eat the head first. Off with the head. That way, the Gingerbread man can’t watch me finish him off.

But Pepperidge Farm makes their gingerbread men without eyes. So with that brand, I don’t feel compelled to eat the head first. Instead, I eat the arms and legs off...randomly ….one by one. (Very torturous.) Last time I got a bag of Pepperidge Farm Gingerbread men…I ate an entire army. Turned the platoon into a broken unit, in need of a medic.

Calm down, folks...I know some of you are gingerbread men right-to-lifers. And you don’t believe in the unnecessary cruelty to gingerbread men. You will be happy to know the men turned on me later that night and got me back. The men moved together in the bowels of retribution and finished ME off.


Kids will be kids. Some adults will be kids…and this blog will be anything but intelligent. Lucky for you, it is also short and sweet...............................and over.

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