Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Baseball Action Verbs





Those are just 4 verbs describing what goes on in the dugout of a baseball game.
If you’ve watched baseball on television, you’ve been privy to these words in action.
And it ain’t pretty.

Sometimes the camera catches a player with his finger up his nose...coal-miner style.
And I’m sure he’s been told…a thousand times…
nasal cavity excavation should be done in private.

Personally, I think the spitting verb is the worse.
I’ve never understood spitting...unless, of course, you are
“the spitting image of someone” or “within spitting distance.”

A spit spray of sunflower seeds is MAJOR LEAGUE disgusting…
but it’s even worse when the spit spray is black, nasty, tobacco chew.
I know spit happens
but I draw the baseball line in the dirt when it comes to “chew.”

Blowing bubbles…or nose blowing…isn’t pretty either.
But their gross factor isn’t as mind blowing as…bubbles out the nose.
And I assume the grabbing I’ve seen…is a wardrobe adjustment,
but I’m not a jock.


There is a lot of down time in a baseball game,
so the camera people are looking for ways to entertain us.
I know I am looking for something to do in-between innings and pitcher changes.
That’s when I usually go for a bowl of ice cream or paint my toe nails.

So I got to thinking….
You know how a network will sometimes put together replays of the game’s great catches, steals,
strike-outs, and home runs?
I dare them to put together a montage of all the
picking, spitting, grabbing, and blowing action in the dugout.
It would be an instant hit on YouTube.

As long as we don’t see a montage of players crying, sobbing, or blubbering.
We should never have to see those verbs in action.
There is no crying in baseball.

Baseball dugouts are not pretty.


Chelsea said...

that would be the BEST youtube video!! and yes... all those baseball players suddenly got a whole lot less attractive! hehe

Mrs. T said...


Nami @ Just One Cookbook said...

Hi Kathy! This is my first time to visit your site. You are funny! I like your website. Makes me smile and laugh. =)

Alycia (Crowley Party) said...

I think this is just boys in general. So nasty haha.

Torrie said...

My kids would LOVE it, that's for sure :).

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