Monday, April 11, 2011

Squirrel Gone Wild

If you live in Bennington, better think twice about leaving your house. You could be jumped from a squirrel.

Okay, I realize this sounds like just another nutty story from Kat, but it's TRUE. Apparently there is a feisty squirrel terrorizing the townspeople of Bennington.

I realize that some folks have a fear of squirrels...squirrellyphobia. The mere thought of them drives them nuts...straight into macadamia madness.

Being from Vermont, I am used to seeing squirrels. Heck, some of my best friends were squirrelly, so I never understood the phobia. Squirrels seem so little and innocent...innocently playing with their nuts all day. But apparently the fear of a squirrel-gone-wild is justified. And I thought spring break was over already.

This particular squirrel isn't one of those nice flying squirrels that saves the day from Boris and Natasha types. He's the Freddy Krueger of Squirrels...jumping out of nowhere and on the backs of Vermonters. He's the Nightmare of Bennington's Elm Street.

The Vermont Chamber of Commerce can't be happy with this bad publicity. "Visit Bennington, Vermont - home of the Satonic Squirrel." They would prefer to be known for their gorgeous green mountains, amazing ski resorts, and yummy Ben and Jerry's ice cream.

Great Idea for a new Ben and Jerry's flavor: the Nutty Squirrel...maple ice cream chocked full of acorns.


What makes a squirrel want to scare the bejesus out of innocent Vermonters? That question is a tough nut to crack. It could have something to do with all that clean Vermont air.

Fresh air breeds tough, badass creatures who will bust a nut if they have to. I would venture to say, this particular squirrel, like a lot of Vermont creatures, has balls to go along with its nuts.

No comments: