Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Shady Blog

Ray-Ban? Chanel? Maui Jim? Oakley? CVS?
What’s your brand of sunglasses?

There are many reasons to wear sunglasses…protection for your eyes...disguise your identity…morning after a rough night of partying….wanna be gangsta cool…wanna be rocker cool.

A lot of rockers and celebs are known for their shades. Elton John and his pinball wizard shades. Bono and his yellow sunglasses. Kid Rock and his mirrored aviators. And my favorite…
Jack You Can’t Handle the Truth Nicholson…..with his dark sunglasses. No one is cooler than Jack. Just Jack can wear shades inside during a Lakers game and pull it off.

Once Colinboy wore shades that were so shady...they made him look like he was trying to pull off a slim shady. He went into a bank wearing black shades…black t-shirt…and a black backpack over one shoulder. Before he could say “Stick’em up,” I mean…“I’d like to cash this check”…the teller asked him to kindly remove his shades. I guess she was worried that Colinboy was thinking about a bank job…and not of the employment kind. Being a vulnerable bank teller, she probably has a hang-up about a possible stickup or holdup. What up?

But let’s face it…sunglasses can be intimidating. When a cop wears dark shades…he becomes an instant Bad Ass. He could be the meekest, mildest, mannerest man…but as soon as he slides his shades down over his eyes…he automatically spreads his legs apart, folds his arms, and takes on a stern expression. He becomes the intimidator. I passed a cop the other day on I-495 who was standing in a construction zone...in full intimidator I'm-a-Bad-Ass mode. I almost pulled over…and confessed to speeding a couple of miles earlier.

As far as being brand specific…I am not partial to any particular brand of sunglasses. Because I usually end up losing them, sitting on them, and breaking them…I buy whatever designer brand they sell at Marshalls. The law of averages that I will sit on my glasses within 2 weeks of purchasing them…80 percent. The law of averages that someone else will beat me to the crunch…95.


I don’t wear my sunglasses very often…not as often as Jack. I wear them mostly when I’m driving. But when I wanna be real cool…rocker cool…”I wear my sunglasses at night.”

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