Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Dreamland Disorder

Are you a dreamer? I’m not talking about a dreamer…rags to riches type. I wanna be Oprah Gates someday. Or I wanna be katOUT and rule Blogworld. I’m talking about at night…when sleeping.

Have you had dreams that you can fly? PaulA and Colinboy are so lucky to be dream aviators. I’ve never gotten off the ground in my dreams…unless you count the ladder when I was cleaning out the gutters on our house. (PaulA says in HIS dreams I would be cleaning gutters.)

In some people’s dreams they become super heroes and can scale tall buildings. And then there are others who don’t remember their dreams for shit. That would be me. I could be living a fabulous life in dreamland…but then I wake up with zero memory. Not fair. I could actually be living an Oprah Gates lifestyle…scarfing buckets of caviar and rolling around in my money.

But then again, maybe my dreams aren’t it’s a good thing I have no recollection. Once I wondered if I dreamt a werewolf was stalking me (and not Taylor Lautner) because I had night sweats. Or then again, it could have been Mother Nature stalking me. (She can be a real bithch.) Or worse yet...what if I’m having embarrassing dreams? Dreams where I’m at my blog chair totally naked and my videocam is running? Wake up Kat.


I have heard about some folks who are very active at night. These folks have a weird disorder called REM behavioral disorder. During their sleep…they kick, scream, grab, and punch. And when they awake…they have no recollection of what they were doing. Then they turn over and find their bed partner kicked to shit. Whoops.

They say this is a for-real disorder. I’m kinda skatical…(that’s kat being skeptical), but then ‘they’ say sex addiction is real….so who am I to determine what disorders are real or convenient excuses? These people, who are assaulting innocent bed partners, claim they are defending themselves in their dreams. Or REALLY is it that they harbor some resentment? (Kick me...but I think they are acting out their abusive wishes.)

I’m pretty sure I don’t have the REM disorder…(OR the abusive wish disorder)..PaulA never wakes up with a black eye.

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