Monday, November 10, 2008

Hat Please

I picked Duncandog up from the groomer after his haircut and I hardly recognized him. He was more shaven than cut. I wonder if Duncan wanted to cry. If he did…I would totally understand. I’ve been there….women everywhere have been there…the bad haircut.

Once years ago when I was shopping at the Taj MaMall with my sister, Jayniebug…We entered a hair salon…which was really a butcher shop with a fancy fa├žade. On a whim I decided to get a hair cut. Not exactly sure why I would do this…I have to blame someone…so I’ll blame Jayniebug …

Anyway, the salonSLASHbutchershop could take me right away. That should have been a red flag right there. So I sat down in the chair and my sister sat next to me in the open chair …hello, a second red flag. Edward Scissorshands (third flag) pulled out her hedge clippers, and started to work. With one cut, massive amounts of my hair fell to the floor. I couldn’t really see what was happening because she was working on the back…and I don’t have eyes in the back of my head…although my kids were always sure I did.

I knew I was in trouble by watching my sister. I could see her face in the mirror as she watched the woman slowly butcher me. With each cut, Jayniebug winced a little more…and then a little more. She didn’t want to be impolite to the hairdresserSLASHER butcher…but yelling “STOP the madness” would have been a good idea. Instead she just made faces. After 10 minutes…I could hardly recognize my own sister. Her face was so contorted…she looked like W. C. fields smelling dirty gym socks.

The woman could tell by the tears streaming down my face that I was less than happy with the hack job she had just performed on my head…so she charged me less. I tried to be adult about it. So I got up from the chair…threw the money on the floor and stomped out of there. Okay, I didn’t do that, but that is what I wanted to do.

Instead, I went home…cried some more…and put on a hat. I am not a hat person, but I quickly became Kat in the Hat. At least I had the option of wearing one…poor Duncandog wasn’t as fortunate.

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