Monday, May 14, 2012

Royal Flush

Homeowner Heaven
Home Depot….
or Lowe’s...
...(you say Burger King…
I say McDonalds.
same dif
 Poor Wendy…left out, again.)

The other day PaulA and I visited the Home Depot...
to shop for some what-cha-ma-call-its. 
As we walked around,
I was very impressed with all the different homeowner projects "one" could accomplish.
That is, if "one" had the “know how”…and didn’t have two thumbs.
(All on one know what I mean.) 
I’m not particularly handy with tools,
but PaulA is very handy with his.

While PaulA searched for the thing-a-ma-bob in the Thing-a-ma-bob Aisle…
I wandered off to the Plumbing-a-jig Aisle.

Have you checked out the thrones lately?
("Throne" sounds more pleasant than "toilet.")
 I was surprised how relatively inexpensive they were...
especially considering the price per flush ratio.)

As I perused all the different sizes and shapes,
I pictured myself reigning from a new throne.
If I did purchase a new throne…which one would I choose to sit upon?

And then I saw it…
the best throne in all the LAND.

It had me at ‘FLUSH’…

an “American Standard”…
not to be confused with the European Unstandard types.

This throne stood out above all others because of its rating…
"Best Flush.”

The advertising on the sign said it all:

Woah...very impressive. 

The thing flushes a bucket of golf balls in a single flush.
What other throne can claim that?
I'm thinking you have to be having a reeeallly crappy golf day,
to flush a bucket of your balls into the sewer.
I can understand getting mad and throwing your clubs around…
but flushing your balls?

I wonder if the manufacturer tested the product
to support its claim. 
 I can see it flushing mini-chocolate golf balls from the candy store…
but Pro-V1 golf balls?


I found PaulA back in the Thing-a-ma-jig aisle
looking at some much needed what-ch-ma-call-its...
and told him that he had to check out
the amazing golf ball swallowing throne in the Plumbing-a-jig Aisle.
Of course, he accused me of kidding around.
Me, kidding??

Now I can’t stop thinking about upgrading my throne...
to The Royal Flush…
(just perfect for Queen Kat.) 
And PaulA might also appreciate it
the next time he plays golf...
and finds himself mad at his golf balls.

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