Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Medical Mysteries Solved

Who among us hasn’t looked up some illness or symptoms online? Be it The Swine Flu, West Nile Virus, or the South Bronx Bug?

For me growing up, the tapeworm…was the number one illness that creeped me out. I remember getting a good look at one in the World Book Encyclopedia and I shivered for hours. I kept picturing the 6 foot worm growing in my stomach…eating everything I ate as it came down the Esopha-pike…even my Twinkies, before I had a chance to digest the crème center. I know there are a few who think the tapeworm would be an easy weight loss tool…but I’m thinking fewer Twinkies and more exercise might be easier than a tapeworm…by any measure.

Now ours is a world void of World Book Encyclopedia salesmen...an internet world that is often used to solve our medical mysteries. It’s a breeze to google your symptoms or a suspected illness and see if you are a match. Congratulations! You are a winner. You have Anthrax.

Google will turn anyone into a walking, barely-breathing hypochondriac.

For some, the mere mention of an illness can bring on symptoms…let alone reading about them online. I remember when Colinboy was sure his number was up...after hearing about meningitis…and after spending an afternoon in google world. Yep...he was a meningitis match. He had a headache…and he couldn’t stare into a light bulb for very long. And, if he stretched his neck in a vice grip…it hurt like hell.

We assured him his good health, “Colin you don’t have meningitis. You are a hypochondriac.” Colinboy looked clueless and asked, “What’s that?” Our advice, “Look, it up, son.” Colinboy googled it and came back with his startling revelation, “Yea! I have THAT…that’s exactly what I have. I have Hypochondria.”

Another medical mystery solved.

Revolutionary treatment for Hypochondria:
Take 2 aspirin……….And don’t google.


Anonymous said...

Believe it or not, some jockeys used to ingest tapeworms so they could eat like crazy and not gain a pound. A fun fact to know and tell...


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