Try Again

I recently read about a new device…a hand-held lie detector. It is being used by the U.S. Army in Afghanistan to screen possible threats entering military bases and roadside bombing suspects. I was thinking about more practical uses for this device. Something that could help me in my every day life. Let’s see:

PaulA says to me: “I played 18 holes this afternoon.” Sorry PaulA, this here lie detector says you’re lying through your golf shirt…you actually played 27. “Well…the last 9 don’t count ...I played them so badly.” Try again, PaulA.

Colin says to me: “I got home around 1 a.m.” Sorry Colinboy, this here lie detector says you’re lying through your scruffy face…it was actually 2 a.m. “Well, the last hour doesn’t count...I stopped having fun.” Try again, Colinboy.

Brianna says to me: “I only had 3 of my friends over last night. Sorry Brianna, this here lie detector says you’re lying through your angel face…you actually had 4. “Well…one girl was only an acquaintance…I just met her.” Try again, Brianna.

Chelsea says to me: “I bought one new outfit last week.” Sorry Chelsea, this here lie detector says you’re lying through your southern accent…you actually bought 3 outfits. “Well...two don't count...one is for a job interview and I decided the other is ugly.” Try again, Chelsea.

It would be great if I could get my hands on that hand-held lie detector. No one could ever pull a fast one on me…pull the wool over my eyes…or even pull my chain. Just as long as no one uses the lie detector on me…

Kat says: “I’ve written another meaningful blog.” Sorry Kat, this here lie detector says you’re lying through your blinking cursor…all you’ve written is crap. Try again, Kat.

ADougdendum to June 4th.............
Doug says to me: "Today is my birthday and I am 40 years old." Sorry Doug, this here lie detector says you're lying through your sinister smile...you may think you are 40 today but you are actually 44. "Well...at least I'm not 104 like you and PaulA." Try again, Dig.