I Object

“Your honor, I object.” I was so impressed the first time I heard those words in a courtroom. They actually say them…not just on Court TV. There I was in a courtroom with an actual judge (sans white wig, darn), 2 lawyers and a plaintiff. It was a dark wood paneled room with a juror’s box….I was living a real life Perry Mason Show. I was just hoping the lawyers would keep saying “I object.”

I was picked to serve on the jury for a civil trial on a slip and fall case. I was the alternate…Alternate #1. So if one of the jurors couldn’t fulfill their duties…I was in. I was shocked they even picked me…that they didn’t object …even after one of the lawyers disclosed he indirectly knew me and that he had once played golf with my husband. I’m sure he was being objective and probably figured I was a push over…like PaulA was that day at golf. :)

So I drove dutifully into the city to the courthouse for 5 days…and I never objected once. I loved the whole process and I got paid. I wasn’t paid a lot of money…but it was more than they give me to write these blogs 5 days a week. How could I object? I was very objective about my fellow jurors and found them very interesting and colorful.

As the case progressed, I got more and more into it. I was dreaming about it. I tried to be objective, but I was totally on the fallen woman’s side. The poor woman had attended a wedding at an Elk’s Club, slipped on the waxed floor when she walked in, and damaged her arm. She had to have surgery and was not able to do her job as a typist. Damn, I know whenever I hit my funny bone…I wanna cry. I felt terrible for her. I was wishing I was Juror #1 and not Alternate #1.

It didn’t take long for me to know the other jurors objected to giving her even a penny. They said they wished they could have a million dollars too. Geez, if it was up to me, I would not have objected to giving her the million dollars or at least some of it. But that was the problem…I didn’t have a say as the alternate. I sat there for a week and when it was time to deliberate… I was out.

I would do the whole thing over in a heart beat. I got to hear the lawyers say, “I Object” several times and I was happy to serve my civil duty. But next time I would want a vote. The jury is out…. I object to being an Alternate…it bites.

I hope you don’t object to this long dissertation.