Tuesday, May 17, 2011

HDTV (Horror Defining TV)


Back in the day when it came to taking photos of my kids…I had them trained like little monkeys. On command…they mugged for the camera. They never gave me a lick of trouble about getting their picture taken. They knew it would soon be over…and that crazy Katwoman would leave them to their bananas…should they stop swinging from the chandelier long enough.

But this Kat is not as compliant. I’m more like, “Do I have to be in the picture? Back off with that camera…a little more…a little more. Oh, you can barely see me? Perfect. Go ahead and take the picture.”

I prefer a little distance between myself and the lens. Distance makes the face grow fonder. I like the Blurrrrry lens.


I don’t know how Katie Curic does it…sitting in the studio under the lights with Hi Def technology. No wonder she is leaving the Evening News.

If I was Katie, I would want to work on location for the Weather Channel. I’d want to cover all the storms…rain, hail, snow, and cane. That way I’d be dressed head-to-toe in full gear and I wouldn’t be the focus of the picture. Viewers are more interested in seeing snow banks anyway…or seeing the reporter hang onto a telephone pole for dear life, while hurricane force rain and wind whips them sideways.

With HDTV (Horror Defining TV)…there is nothing left to the imagination. The pictures are sooo clear. What the reporter sees in the mirror…is what 10 million people see at home on their TV. Puffy eyes, crusty eyes...circles, spheres…you name the shape.

The new high definition technology requires new types of barely-there make-up and application techniques. Old school make-up artists who applied the thick cakey stuff with a spatula are now history.

The ole school thick make-up on today's HDTV would look like something the Cake Boss applied. Which would make for… better licking…than better looking.


Jazzy E (hivenn) said...


Chelsea said...

i would be so scared to see me on HDTV!!! at work, they changed the light in the womens restroom and its SUPER bright and points out any imperfection... enter at your own risk