Nothing To Lose

This week Linnyj and I have a big golf match…and I mean huge. We are going head-to- head in match play…with the Club Champion and Frank (a champion in his own right…props to Frank for his team winning the State Championship). You ask: How does it happen that seemingly mild mannered women end up playing a couple of seasoned gamey golfers…a sort of David and Goliath match?

Well, Linnyj and I were hanging around the pub, downing a couple of Buds…strutting our golf prowess…and looking for a match worthy of playing. Truth be told (a Linnyj expression), we played 9 holes against our husbands earlier that day but they didn’t give us much game. We had them at Hello on hole 7. (Sorry guys…maybe you could work on your game …take a few lessons from the club pro and we’ll give you another chance at us.) So you see, we were looking for more competition.

Okay…I realize the odds for the big match are not in our favor. The Club Champ is a 2 handicap, Frankie baby is an 11, Linnyj is a 19 and Kat is …let’s just say a very high number…the max. So the golf odds are with them…in their golf bag…but they have to give us strokes. Handicap…the great equalizer. When God invented golf…he decided it should be fair play…so he came up with the women’s red tee, extra strokes per hole and cute golf skirts.

We do have something in our favor....Linnyj. She has some stellar shots, chips and putts. Now that she’s packing a new Cleveland driver, the one with the largest club head in-all-the-land…almost as big as my own head...she’s sure to do well. But the secret weapon to Linnyj’s game is not just her golf skills…nope…it is her trash-talking. She is the best around. She can talk smack with anyone and sure to get in their heads. "Boo-ya Grandma!! Bring it on… "

And don’t think we are giving away any putts…no gimmies from the linnyKAT team. We’ve noticed how guys leave their ball on the green just long enough so someone will say, “Oh, that’s good…you can have it.” Hey, not gonna happen with this team…we are ladies but not that nice.

So if the golf gods line everything up for us so that all our putts drop in…and we end up getting a few sandies, squirrelies and deeries….We will be a LEGEND. You see, we have nothin’ to lose. If we lose…the Club Champ and his buddy have beat up on a couple of sweet unassuming mild mannered women. And if we win…Linnyj will be talking trash for the rest of their golf days.

Bring it on Goliath!