Grocery Cart Wars

Everyone has at least one particular chore that they don’t like to do, avoid doing at all costs, but have to eventually face it. For me, that would be grocery shopping. Believe me, I postpone it as long as I can…sometimes I can get pretty inventive. But when Bri complains, “We are having eggs a la mode for dinner…again?”...I know it is time.

The grocery stores might have fun names to disguise the real experience…The Piggly Wiggly, Winn Dixie, Schnucks. But let’s face it…they could call it, “Day at the Park.” and it still wouldn’t be fun.

Down to my last egg, I drag my heels and head to the grocery store. The mere sight of all the cars parked outside makes me queasy. It is busy and that means…grocery cart wars. You know the drill, there are so many people pushing around carts that we get in each other’s way. People are bumping into each other…or accidentally hitting the back of some lady’s heel because I’m following too closely. “Lady, honestly, I didn’t do it on purpose…it was an accident! And don’t give me that evil eye…I heard you call me an ass under your breath.”

After a friend told me her grocery cart story (Thanks Eva)….I knew the next time I went…I would be prepared for battle. She was at the grocery store on a busy day, probably before turkey day or super bowl weekend…when all the chuckleheads are there. (Excluding Eva, of course) Maybe the forecasters mentioned a little snow...and the whole town headed to the store to get milk…’cause you can’t live without milk for a couple of hours. Your bones could get soft.

While working her way down an aisle, some goofball squeezed by her with his cart and took the skin off her knuckles….actually bloody knuckles so she had to go for first aid. A grocery cart injury…just another reason to keep me away from the grocery store.

So eventually I make it home alive from “Day at the Park”…drag in the grocery bags, and put everything away. Then I realize…I picked up the no-lactose, no-fat, no-taste skim milk …Yuck. Now I have to go back. Where’s my helmet and steel gloves?