Flight Fright

I have to admit, I am not the best flyer. I wish I was more mature or had less anxiety about the whole thing. I bless myself, bless the pilot, bless the plane, cross myself, talk to myself and think weird thoughts. I’m thinking: it’s mother’s day weekend…Have I been a good mother…or is this flight going down…all because of me? Sorry fellow passengers. I know people around me are wondering about my psychological condition…but hey, let them wonder.

We had 2 connecting flights to Chelsea’s graduation…in small planes. 2 seats on one side and one seat across…A /BC. Whenever I board a plane, I knock 3 times before ever stepping foot inside…I make PaulA and the kids do the same. I don’t try to hide my actions from anyone, including the flight attendant. Sometimes, the flight attendant will say: “Come on in.” Sunday the flight attendant said: “The plane is hard.” I wasn’t so sure.

I hate it when the pilot mumbles into the microphone with his pilot chatter. I think they learn to talk like that in pilot school. I struggle to hear what he’s saying. When he says: “Everything looks smooth up ahead.” I know turbulence is right around the corner. Thanks for the jinx. Mumble anything but that!!

We were finally cruising smoothly on top of the clouds…and I was trying hard not to picture myself sitting in a flimsy chair 32,000 miles in the air. Just when I almost accomplished this…I got a fast reminder of where I was. I heard a huge bang and the plane fell. Okay, not to the ground, but within an air pocket so that my stomach floated up to my throat. (Did the Pilot just mumble smooth ahead?) Poor Brianna had to deal with me grabbing her arm. Luckily Bri is mature about flying.

To keep my mind off the flight, Bri and I played the “dots” game that Bri learned from my Auntie Anne :) …and she was beating me early on. Mathematically, I knew she had me. There was no way I could possibly win. But like Hillary, that didn’t stop me.

I looked over to the lady in row 8A…her method of relaxation was the Margarita. The flight attendant brought her a bottle that filled her glass to the top - twice. Ole. Not a bad deal for 5 bucks. She was headed for total relaxation when she ordered another round for herself. But who’s counting? I would think about trying her method, but I would need to get up and use the ladies room…I might throw the plane off balance. Better not drink.

There is always food for a distraction… the snack tray. Yum. What is in there? Crackers, spreadable cheese, salami, trail mix and mini M& M’s. Just a bunch of junk. I look over at Colin and catch him with his mouth wide opened…just ready to shove a large cracker with mounds of cheese, and 5 salami slices lined over the top. The food distraction sure works for Colinboy.

Other people around seem to be fine…so what is my problem? Food, Margarita, games, music, and reading do not seem to help me. Why do I have a fear of flying? PaulA says, I never give it a second thought when he is flying. Hmmm…he’s right. But I wouldn’t be able to get it out of my mind …if I was sitting beside him.