Thursday, July 16, 2009

Weenies Only

You’ve heard of 3 dog night…right? How about a 68 dog day afternoon?

68 is the number it took to win the Nathan’s Famous July Fourth International Eating Contest. That’s 68 hot dogs baby…buns and all. The winner was Joey Chesnut for the 3rd year in a row…a three peat weenie, I mean winner…same thing.

He ate 68 wieners in 10 minutes. That’s crazy. I don’t think I could eat that in 10 days. Maybe I could in 10 years…which would be roughly 7 doggers a year…but that’s probably pushin’ the wiener casing.

The winner did have an advantage…he’s a professional eater. His other accomplishments include: 7.5 lbs. buffalo chicken wings in 12 minutes (hopefully mild…for his sake) and 47 grilled cheese sandwiches in 10 minutes. (Why couldn’t I have been born a professional eater?) That almost makes the contest unfair to all the other wiener hopefuls. What chance in hell did they have to win the contest with only an occasional pig-out session under their belts?

And the big prize? 20,000 dollars. I think the prize should come with a tub of Tums and a few gallons of Imodium. I guess 20,000 bucks was not a bad pay-out for 10 minutes of noshing, but you have to know, that guy will keep the bathroom Occupado for at least a week.

I did a little research on the hot dog and found that the earliest record of a hot dog type of product dates back to 1500 B.C. in Babylonia. The early forms were made by grinding up meat, and stuffing it in animal intestines and cooking it over a fire. Try not to think of that next time you cozy up to a Frank. Any Frank.

Then I read further…about how hot dogs were made. Trust me…you would not want to tour Nathan’s Famous or Oscar Meyer while they were in production. I have a quick and responsive gagging reflex, so I know better than that. Maybe that’s how Lady Ga Ga ended up with her name…she watched a weenie in the making.

I guess the contest is a really BIG wiener deal for some, especially if you’re into watching crazies cram mashed-up soggy dogs and buns into their mouths.

FRANKLY, I don’t give a damn.

1 comment:

Jayne said...

haha, that was really funny Kat. I've tried to watch those contests and could never make it through the first couple of seconds without wanting to gag. Turn the station quick!