What is so wrong with a bologna sandwich? Geez, I thought everyone loved Oscar Mayer Bologna. Bologna was the first sandwich I ever made PaulA. I found out that not everyone appreciates a bologna sandwich…especially the way I made it…but not until years later.
PaulA and I were newly dating and we decided to go on a picnic near our college. I offered to make a nice picnic lunch. (This would be great time to impress my boyfriend with my culinary skills.)
Growing up in my household, our sandwiches included: PB & J, PB & Fluff, egg salad, tuna, Devil’s Ham and bologna. I went through the process of elimination and I decided…peanut butter was sooo 4th grade. Egg salad and tuna salad smelled big time…especially in the sun and therefore, so would we. Deviled ham is just plain gross…always was and always will be. Bologna…rose quickly to the top of the list.
So I worked on the best bologna sandwich for my boyfriend…got two slices of white bread, smeared a little yellow mustard and added a slice of bologna. Waaahlaa. The perfect sandwhich.
PaulA ate his bologna sandwich without a complaint. But after we were married, I found out that…not only is bologna not his definition of a perfect sandwich…the white bread and mustard didn’t cut it either.
I have since learned to make the perfect PaulA sandwich…That would be to use any bread (but white), deli meat (but bologna) piled five inches high, mounds of miracle whip, and any fixins that you have in the frig. The technique is: layer…and smother…layer…and smother… the perfect sandwich.
I’m still surprised about the poor reception my sandwich received from PaulA. You see I thought I couldn’t lose with a bologna sandwich… ‘Cause Oscar Mayer has a way with B-o-l-o-g-n-a… (Okay, I couldn’t resist that catchy little jingle… you had to know it was coming.)
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