You know the saying, “Love Thy Neighbor”…I don’t think so….not my neighbors. I’ve got sketchy neighbors. They are the third set to be in the house next door which by the way, is a gorgeous brick home in a very beautiful neighborhood, next to some amazing people….that would be us!
The first family that lived there was great. They took meticulous care of their house and lawn, had great Christmas decorations, and were very involved in the neighborhood….threw a great neighborhood Holiday party. (Didn’t get wild drunk at the party and say stupid things either.) They were only there a couple of years… split town…not in the middle of the night or anything. Enter a new family…
..a couple with two huge poodles. Poodles for some reason scare me and especially two together. They were black and white, so I think they were trying to be socially correct or something. Anyway, they were just a little odd (not the dogs…the people, silly)…couldn’t really put my finger on it. Very friendly, but had very strange stories…like the woman “accidentally” burned down their house when she was younger, stuff like that. She claimed she could do just about anything….especially when it came to plumbing (whose plumbing?)…very interesting talent. One thing that was pretty neato was the media room they put in their basement. This was the highlight of their time in the neighborhood…they had a few of us over and we sat in their big honker leather chairs and watched their big ass screen. They had a baby and then moved to Florida. Enter very sketchy neighbors…..
The sketchy neighbors have earned their title of sketchy. First of all, not sure what they do for work over there…maybe work from the house…maybe the home mortgage business (think that is how they keep the house) or the mob. Okay, the mob is a little dramatic, but read on….
There is a grandmom, daughter and her 2 older sons who live there. I won’t even tell you about their size, cuz that is not fair. hehe They have HUGE (for good reason) black cars, Cadillacs, convertibles….lots of them. They like to lay rubber in their driveway….you know rev the car and slam the brakes on…all in 10 feet. They have many strange cars and people coming at different times of the day/week; some from another state. They have so many cars and visitors that they are parking on their lawn in the back which is ruining the lawn. Plus the front lawn has gone to shit….I mean, weeds.
When they first moved in, the phone company and electric company were over there 24/7. Hmmm, wondering…do they have people working out of their basement? Anway, the transformer between our 2 homes blew up. Never had a problem until the sketchies moved in. They have a special trash pick-up day different from everyone else in the neighborhood. The truck backs down their driveway to their cans. (I mean trash cans.) Hmmm, wondering….what are they disposing that can’t be brought out to the curb?? They never walk down the driveway to the mailbox…one of their visitors stops at the mailbox and brings it in every day. They never have been to a neighborhood get-together (and we’re such fun people.) You never, ever see these people outside unless they are whizzing by in a car. In the middle of the night you might hear them. Supposedly they “sold” their home (that is what the paper showed) to someone….but they never moved out. The sketchies are still in the house. Do I need to say anymore??? Trust me I could….but I think you get the picture.
So if for some reason you don’t hear from me again…you might try putting 2 and 2 together…..you’ll figure out they read my blog and I am now dead meat. But until they off me…..I smile and wave when I see their big ass cars drive by…..I do not want to be the next drive by….you know what I’m talking about, here??!!!
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Red Sox World Champions
I just finished watching the Red Sox Rolling Rally on NESN…Celebration of the Red Sox World Champions. After watching, I have a big beef and I just have to get it out. My beef is with the news announcers at the parade. They were really bad…. said the stupidest things. How is it they get their jobs? I didn’t know just anyone could be an announcer…. Especially the woman- never got her name-(she gives women announcers a bad name.) At one point she said, Oh, I hear some fans booing…Something must have happened. I wonder what they don’t like.” You stupid, ridiculous, moronic woman….they are yelling “Youk.” Kevin Youkilis is on the Duck boat right in front of you and they are yelling for him. Where have you been? Have you ever been to Fenway and watched a game? Have you ever watched a game on your own channel? She was just so stupid that I was yelling at the TV…but then I stopped…I felt stupid.
The other thing the announcers kept bringing up, which totally bugged me is....World Series 2004 vs World Series 2007. How this World Series win is different than the World Series win in 2004. How this team is different than 2004. How this parade is different than 2004. If you’re like me, you want to yell, “Of course, blockheads….it is different than 2004 because first of all, it is 2007 and not 2004. Duh, the 86 year wait to win the World Series made the 2004 win significant. But it doesn’t mean that this win isn’t great too. And we didn’t have to wait another 86 years so that makes 2007 very special!”
On a sweeter note, the parade looked fun….very nice that Col could be there, just hope he didn’t skip class like I’m envisioning college kids and kids of all ages did….Also Papelbon was so entertaining for the crowd…singing, playing air guitar with the broom….loved his Irish jig even though he does the jig homeboy style. Yep, that is definitely a homeboy style jig when you stick your tongue out and bend your fingers like tha rappas do….Col is the master at this. He (Papelbon, Col too) is definitely someone you would want to invite to your next party…but I’m sure he’s booked.
I also have to admit when I make a mistake. One of my new blog peeps…actually my sister, Sister Sledge, brought up a good point about something I wrote a couple of blog entries ago….. that the Red Sox didn’t have good looking players. She said she thought that Josh Beckett was cute……..So I stand corrected although I am trying to understand Beckett’s beard. Thank you Sister Sledge for your contribution and for actually reading my blog……
Congratulations to the Red Sox Champions of the World!!!!
The other thing the announcers kept bringing up, which totally bugged me is....World Series 2004 vs World Series 2007. How this World Series win is different than the World Series win in 2004. How this team is different than 2004. How this parade is different than 2004. If you’re like me, you want to yell, “Of course, blockheads….it is different than 2004 because first of all, it is 2007 and not 2004. Duh, the 86 year wait to win the World Series made the 2004 win significant. But it doesn’t mean that this win isn’t great too. And we didn’t have to wait another 86 years so that makes 2007 very special!”
On a sweeter note, the parade looked fun….very nice that Col could be there, just hope he didn’t skip class like I’m envisioning college kids and kids of all ages did….Also Papelbon was so entertaining for the crowd…singing, playing air guitar with the broom….loved his Irish jig even though he does the jig homeboy style. Yep, that is definitely a homeboy style jig when you stick your tongue out and bend your fingers like tha rappas do….Col is the master at this. He (Papelbon, Col too) is definitely someone you would want to invite to your next party…but I’m sure he’s booked.
I also have to admit when I make a mistake. One of my new blog peeps…actually my sister, Sister Sledge, brought up a good point about something I wrote a couple of blog entries ago….. that the Red Sox didn’t have good looking players. She said she thought that Josh Beckett was cute……..So I stand corrected although I am trying to understand Beckett’s beard. Thank you Sister Sledge for your contribution and for actually reading my blog……
Congratulations to the Red Sox Champions of the World!!!!
Monday, October 29, 2007
You Remind Me Of
Have you ever been told you remind them of someone or you look like someone else? When you first hear this you cringe and hold your breath…Please don’t say I look like Lyle Lovett! Or Rosie O’Donnell!
When I was 19, I was told I looked like Ali McGraw in Love Story. (Great Old School cry scene movie.) I wasn’t surprised I looked like her…I had long brown hair parted in the middle, brown eyes….half the population back then looked like her. Add a streak of white and I could have looked like Morticia from the Addams Family.
My hubby has been told he looks like….Jeb Bush. Laugh now, but then keep it short. He doesn’t exactly like this comparison…You know, I can kinda see what people are seeing but Pauly is way better looking and not the chubster that ole Jeb is (just ask him)!jk The woman who cuts his hair gets a kick out of calling him Jeb and people even stop him in airports, restaurants….Maybe he should try walking into the White House as ole Jeb and have a look around.
The other day a salesman told me that I reminded him of someone…not my looks but my actions. I was at the Pottery Barn and the fella there was trying to sell me extra stuff, even after I had already made a decent purchase…. “Stop already, with selling stuff!” So he says, “You might want to get the caterer’s boxes of wine glasses and plates for Thanksgiving just in case you need more.” I said to him, “No thanks. You know, I’m all set with that. I have had Thanksgiving every year for the last 11 years and I have it down to a science. I even have a “Thanksgiving” folder where I keep notes from every year...like who brought what, how much turkey we got, what we should do next year.” He looked at me and said, “ooooooooo, that is so Bree of you. You know Bree from Desperate Housewives.” What a knucklehead, of course I know Bree from Desperate Housewives…now if I looked like her that would be okay, but to be like her ….
OMG when you think about it….my actions do sound anal retentive (nasty expression)…. just like Bree Van de Camp. I never would have thought of myself as her so of course, I had to defend myself! “You know, I’m not really like that…I’m not like Bree at all. I just want to have a nice Thanksgiving and make it easy on myself. I really am not that organized.” You could tell what he was thinking, “Sure lady, you are Bree. Who keeps a Thanksgiving folder? Just the Wackos.”
So the next time you say to someone, “You know who you remind me of?” Be very careful what you say, because they just might return the favor and say, “Well you look like Willie Nelson or you remind me of Hillary Clinton!
When I was 19, I was told I looked like Ali McGraw in Love Story. (Great Old School cry scene movie.) I wasn’t surprised I looked like her…I had long brown hair parted in the middle, brown eyes….half the population back then looked like her. Add a streak of white and I could have looked like Morticia from the Addams Family.
My hubby has been told he looks like….Jeb Bush. Laugh now, but then keep it short. He doesn’t exactly like this comparison…You know, I can kinda see what people are seeing but Pauly is way better looking and not the chubster that ole Jeb is (just ask him)!jk The woman who cuts his hair gets a kick out of calling him Jeb and people even stop him in airports, restaurants….Maybe he should try walking into the White House as ole Jeb and have a look around.
The other day a salesman told me that I reminded him of someone…not my looks but my actions. I was at the Pottery Barn and the fella there was trying to sell me extra stuff, even after I had already made a decent purchase…. “Stop already, with selling stuff!” So he says, “You might want to get the caterer’s boxes of wine glasses and plates for Thanksgiving just in case you need more.” I said to him, “No thanks. You know, I’m all set with that. I have had Thanksgiving every year for the last 11 years and I have it down to a science. I even have a “Thanksgiving” folder where I keep notes from every year...like who brought what, how much turkey we got, what we should do next year.” He looked at me and said, “ooooooooo, that is so Bree of you. You know Bree from Desperate Housewives.” What a knucklehead, of course I know Bree from Desperate Housewives…now if I looked like her that would be okay, but to be like her ….
OMG when you think about it….my actions do sound anal retentive (nasty expression)…. just like Bree Van de Camp. I never would have thought of myself as her so of course, I had to defend myself! “You know, I’m not really like that…I’m not like Bree at all. I just want to have a nice Thanksgiving and make it easy on myself. I really am not that organized.” You could tell what he was thinking, “Sure lady, you are Bree. Who keeps a Thanksgiving folder? Just the Wackos.”
So the next time you say to someone, “You know who you remind me of?” Be very careful what you say, because they just might return the favor and say, “Well you look like Willie Nelson or you remind me of Hillary Clinton!
Sunday, October 28, 2007
World Series – Game 4 - Batter’s Up!
Yes, It’s Game 4 and the Red Sox could take it all….4 in a row and out of there…out of the wild west…That would be great. Some fans say they want the Red Sox to win it in Boston. It does sound like a good time…….to be a fan and win it at home….but I want them to win it tonight. TONIGHT. Forget losing the next two games to win it at home….Because… “What if?” What if the Rockies got darn good and lucky and came back? So let’s get the Rockies now…bury them…put them out of their misery. I’m all for that!
I have a couple of quick keen observations. First of all, have you seen the Colorado Rockies Manager, Clint Hurdle? Have you watched him, or better yet have you watched him chew gum? It is the funniest thing! When he chews gum, which is so much better than chewing a big wad of tobacco, his hat moves up and down… I’m not kidding. His baseball cap is going up and down with each chew. I have never seen someone’s hat do that. So, of course, that means his forehead is moving up and down because how else would his hat do that!! So I gave it a try…I pretended to chew gum to see if my forehead would move up and down. I think this would be a great trick at parties. “Hey, look what Kat can do!” Nope…shucks….can’t get my forehead to move unless I move my eyebrows up and down. Maybe I’ll get some real gum and try again. Why don’t you give it a try? You too may have this special talent and could be a hit at parties or maybe it just belongs to Hurdle.
Another observation is those white towels the Rockies fans wave….What are they called…. crying towels? It just seems so rude. I’d like to snap a crying towel at one of them and make them cry…maybe just at their knees and not in their face….I don’t want to be rude too.
Have you heard enough about the altitude in Colorado? How it can affect how well the Red Sox can run or the effect on the ole curve ball? Okay, it is interesting information, but enough of it…..Duh, we get it by now.
One thing I realized during the last game is….The Red Sox don’t have good looking guys on their team. And don’t try to tell me you think Big Papi is a hunk or Youkilis is a looker. I love the Red Sox and would only root for them, but in the looks department, they are running way behind. Take the New York Yankees….don’t like the Yankees but I have to admit they have a few good looking players on their team…Jeter, A-Rod. But what the Red Sox don’t have in good looks, is made up for in the character department. The Red Sox have everyone beat when it comes to character. Who could even come close to the free spirit of a Manny Ramirez, or the River Dance of a Papelbon??
So good luck to the Red Sox. I want you to win tonight…bring it home….The late nights are killing me and I have really important stuff I have to do…..now that is funny.
Go Red Sox!
I have a couple of quick keen observations. First of all, have you seen the Colorado Rockies Manager, Clint Hurdle? Have you watched him, or better yet have you watched him chew gum? It is the funniest thing! When he chews gum, which is so much better than chewing a big wad of tobacco, his hat moves up and down… I’m not kidding. His baseball cap is going up and down with each chew. I have never seen someone’s hat do that. So, of course, that means his forehead is moving up and down because how else would his hat do that!! So I gave it a try…I pretended to chew gum to see if my forehead would move up and down. I think this would be a great trick at parties. “Hey, look what Kat can do!” Nope…shucks….can’t get my forehead to move unless I move my eyebrows up and down. Maybe I’ll get some real gum and try again. Why don’t you give it a try? You too may have this special talent and could be a hit at parties or maybe it just belongs to Hurdle.
Another observation is those white towels the Rockies fans wave….What are they called…. crying towels? It just seems so rude. I’d like to snap a crying towel at one of them and make them cry…maybe just at their knees and not in their face….I don’t want to be rude too.
Have you heard enough about the altitude in Colorado? How it can affect how well the Red Sox can run or the effect on the ole curve ball? Okay, it is interesting information, but enough of it…..Duh, we get it by now.
One thing I realized during the last game is….The Red Sox don’t have good looking guys on their team. And don’t try to tell me you think Big Papi is a hunk or Youkilis is a looker. I love the Red Sox and would only root for them, but in the looks department, they are running way behind. Take the New York Yankees….don’t like the Yankees but I have to admit they have a few good looking players on their team…Jeter, A-Rod. But what the Red Sox don’t have in good looks, is made up for in the character department. The Red Sox have everyone beat when it comes to character. Who could even come close to the free spirit of a Manny Ramirez, or the River Dance of a Papelbon??
So good luck to the Red Sox. I want you to win tonight…bring it home….The late nights are killing me and I have really important stuff I have to do…..now that is funny.
Go Red Sox!
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Old School Rules
My kids like to talk about Old School….of course, they think anything we said, did or wore from my generation is Old School…heck, they even think the 80s are Old School. Okay maybe Pacman is a little outdated, but for me Old School would be the Roman Chariot Races, the Middle Ages, or maybe Genghis Khan and his empire….
Here’s an Old School drink…. Fresca. The other day Pauly asked if the next time I was at the Stop and Shop…could I get some Fresca. Whoa there, Fresca….He said he had tasted a Fresca recently and liked it. Said it was very refreshing!
For some reason Fresca is making a resurgence…not sure why this is happening. Maybe it is cool to be retro! Like leg warmers….excuse me, but why are these coming back? Remember Tab? (Okay, the kids don’t.) Tab is trying to work its way back….trying to ride Fresca’s coat tails. Good luck…I don’t see that happening anytime soon. Fresca has it over Tab….by a mile.
A little while ago I was at a Better Bedding store looking at some mattresses. There was a very nice salesman in there, and he was really into explaining the different mattresses to me. First I thought, “Wow…I know he must do this a lot, but he seems to be really into it…. Like I was his very first customer.” Now that is pretty special. The other thing I thought is, “Man, he looks like he could be an undertaker!” Now think about it…mattresses have to do with sleeping…undertakers have to do with those who sleep forever…very interesting... (Sorry, I just digressed in my story.)
So I finally made my mattress selection. Mr. Better Bedding/Undertaker was writing up the order and said, “While you wait……Can I get you a Fresca?” “What,” I said to myself, “Did he just say Fresca??” What again…with the Fresca. And the way he said it…. “Can I get cha a Fresca?” I’m telling you…so funny……so retro …so Old School!!
So Fresca is on its way back…back from Old School… the retro “new” popular drink. Okay maybe just at our house. Actually, we are on a mission to put Fresca back into the spotlight. We always keep Fresca on hand… in 2 liter bottles, 6 packs in cans, 12 packs in handy carrying cases. So if you come over and you’re looking kinda thirsty…You can bet we’ll ask…….
“Can I get cha a Fresca???
Here’s an Old School drink…. Fresca. The other day Pauly asked if the next time I was at the Stop and Shop…could I get some Fresca. Whoa there, Fresca….He said he had tasted a Fresca recently and liked it. Said it was very refreshing!
For some reason Fresca is making a resurgence…not sure why this is happening. Maybe it is cool to be retro! Like leg warmers….excuse me, but why are these coming back? Remember Tab? (Okay, the kids don’t.) Tab is trying to work its way back….trying to ride Fresca’s coat tails. Good luck…I don’t see that happening anytime soon. Fresca has it over Tab….by a mile.
A little while ago I was at a Better Bedding store looking at some mattresses. There was a very nice salesman in there, and he was really into explaining the different mattresses to me. First I thought, “Wow…I know he must do this a lot, but he seems to be really into it…. Like I was his very first customer.” Now that is pretty special. The other thing I thought is, “Man, he looks like he could be an undertaker!” Now think about it…mattresses have to do with sleeping…undertakers have to do with those who sleep forever…very interesting... (Sorry, I just digressed in my story.)
So I finally made my mattress selection. Mr. Better Bedding/Undertaker was writing up the order and said, “While you wait……Can I get you a Fresca?” “What,” I said to myself, “Did he just say Fresca??” What again…with the Fresca. And the way he said it…. “Can I get cha a Fresca?” I’m telling you…so funny……so retro …so Old School!!
So Fresca is on its way back…back from Old School… the retro “new” popular drink. Okay maybe just at our house. Actually, we are on a mission to put Fresca back into the spotlight. We always keep Fresca on hand… in 2 liter bottles, 6 packs in cans, 12 packs in handy carrying cases. So if you come over and you’re looking kinda thirsty…You can bet we’ll ask…….
“Can I get cha a Fresca???
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Let's Go Red Sox!
It was an awesome comeback for the Boston Red Sox to win the ALCS in Game 7. Let’s hope they go all the way and win the World Series! If they do win the World Series, let’s hope they don’t kill each other or severely injure each other during their celebration. The other night after the Red Sox won the ALCS, they went bonkers. Did you stay up to see them? They were so happy and exhilarated. They ran around screaming and yelling, jumped in each other’s arms, jumped on each other’s backs, chest bumped each other, fell to the ground, knocked heads, slapped each other around, and sprayed champagne in each other’s faces. If you were from another country and watched this, you might think they were really trying to hurt each other. What is it about sports that when the players are overjoyed, they express their excitement by mauling each other? I wonder what it would be like if we went bonkers in our excitement over something……I can see it now….
Okay, Pauly is at work… Paul, “the closer” has just nailed a deal and gonna get a big kahoona payout …When he seals the deal, he squeezes and shakes the guy’s hand until it goes limp, slaps the guy on the back with extra gusto and screams, “hell of a deal.”
Okay, Col and his band have a great concert and everyone is going wild…they are pysched…and feeling like bad ass rockers….the band guys break their guitars over each other’s backs , turn up the reverb, and scream “Power to the People” into the mics.
Okay, Big C and her sorority sisters have just won first prize at Homecoming …They are overjoyed… they hug each other until they’re blue, smear each other’s make up, and scream “Sisters Forever.”
Okay, Bri gets an A on her Chem test…She turns the exam paper into an airplane and flies it at her teacher, throws the chalk into the air and screams chemistry formulas at the top of her lungs.
Then Kat is in a 4 person ladies’ golf tournament and birdies Hole #4 Red…the team is ecstatic, they fist pump into the air while high stepping around the green, knock each other’s visors off, and scream “Birdies Only.”
Note to the Red Sox –
Caution: In the event of winning the World Series, please proceed carefully with celebration.
Let’s Go Red Sox!!
Okay, Pauly is at work… Paul, “the closer” has just nailed a deal and gonna get a big kahoona payout …When he seals the deal, he squeezes and shakes the guy’s hand until it goes limp, slaps the guy on the back with extra gusto and screams, “hell of a deal.”
Okay, Col and his band have a great concert and everyone is going wild…they are pysched…and feeling like bad ass rockers….the band guys break their guitars over each other’s backs , turn up the reverb, and scream “Power to the People” into the mics.
Okay, Big C and her sorority sisters have just won first prize at Homecoming …They are overjoyed… they hug each other until they’re blue, smear each other’s make up, and scream “Sisters Forever.”
Okay, Bri gets an A on her Chem test…She turns the exam paper into an airplane and flies it at her teacher, throws the chalk into the air and screams chemistry formulas at the top of her lungs.
Then Kat is in a 4 person ladies’ golf tournament and birdies Hole #4 Red…the team is ecstatic, they fist pump into the air while high stepping around the green, knock each other’s visors off, and scream “Birdies Only.”
Note to the Red Sox –
Caution: In the event of winning the World Series, please proceed carefully with celebration.
Let’s Go Red Sox!!
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
5 Second Rule
Do you believe in the 5 second rule? You know the one…you drop something on the floor, you quickly pick it up (within 5 seconds) and then maybe eat it. So you’re just about to put something really tasty in your mouth and you drop it…darn. Do you think, “Do I pick that up and eat it, is it gross to eat, is anyone watching me?” Then you say to yourself, “Oh, that’s okay it was on the floor for only 4 seconds.” (Sound familiar Brister?)
I would say, that where you dropped the food, should enter into your decision to eat it or not. For instance, I would never eat off a subway station floor. We all know the New York subway system is disgusting….so that’s an easy one. The Washington Metro has a reputation of being clean…..but still not a wise idea. Definitely, definitely not at a hospital…..people go in there and sometimes they never come out. I would also say the bathroom is out of the question. But why are you eating in the bathroom? I would, however, definitely eat off a few of my friend’s floors (and you know who you are) which are cleaner than most people’s kitchen counters. Oh, and I have a couple of friends where I would totally eat off their garage floor…..no joking. I think I might risk it at my own house…and that is only because I know Duncan Dog’s favorite places to leave his calling card.
You also might want to consider, what you drop, into your decision as to where you draw the line between eat or not eat. For me, if I dropped a wrapped stick of gum …I would still eat it. Now if I had been chewing the piece of gum, ABC gum, and dropped it…. no way would I eat it. Also, an open faced peanut butter sandwich is totally out of the question. First of all, they both have the ability to glom on…and that would include dirt and fuzzy stuff, not to mention deadly bacteria. I would hate for that to be the reason I left the world prematurely......Here lies dumb Kat, she ate off the floor.
So … unless you like to live dangerously…ummm, Brister…I would basically skip the 5 second rule…… unless, of course, no one is watching.
I would say, that where you dropped the food, should enter into your decision to eat it or not. For instance, I would never eat off a subway station floor. We all know the New York subway system is disgusting….so that’s an easy one. The Washington Metro has a reputation of being clean…..but still not a wise idea. Definitely, definitely not at a hospital…..people go in there and sometimes they never come out. I would also say the bathroom is out of the question. But why are you eating in the bathroom? I would, however, definitely eat off a few of my friend’s floors (and you know who you are) which are cleaner than most people’s kitchen counters. Oh, and I have a couple of friends where I would totally eat off their garage floor…..no joking. I think I might risk it at my own house…and that is only because I know Duncan Dog’s favorite places to leave his calling card.
You also might want to consider, what you drop, into your decision as to where you draw the line between eat or not eat. For me, if I dropped a wrapped stick of gum …I would still eat it. Now if I had been chewing the piece of gum, ABC gum, and dropped it…. no way would I eat it. Also, an open faced peanut butter sandwich is totally out of the question. First of all, they both have the ability to glom on…and that would include dirt and fuzzy stuff, not to mention deadly bacteria. I would hate for that to be the reason I left the world prematurely......Here lies dumb Kat, she ate off the floor.
So … unless you like to live dangerously…ummm, Brister…I would basically skip the 5 second rule…… unless, of course, no one is watching.
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