Super Bowl Story

3 days until 
the Ravens 
meet 
the 49'ers
in the Super Bowl

but

here's the real
meat 

of the Super Bowl story...

A rumored 

chicken wing shortage.

please NOooooooo

Why the wing shortage?

Well….if you really have to know. 

(humor me here)

Chicken companies have produced fewer chickens
 and apparently you need chickens to have wings.

The chicken wing shortage equation 
goes like this:

a summer drought =

 less corn produced=

 higher feed prices = 

fewer chickens= 

fewer wings =

sad chicken wing consumers x 1000000000. 

Anywhoooooo…..

I remember "they" said the same thing last year about bacon.  
The "bacon shortage"...

turned out to be hogwash. 

I would say that

the "chicken wing shortage" story
 has the makings of a

Chicken Little (wing) 

story.

The Sky is falling.
cluck, cluck

Big Bang Theory

Let's cut 

to the chase…

the reasons why Michelle Obama 

got bangs.

a.  She was tired of seeing herself in photographs 

with the same hairstyle.

b.. She turned 49 and wanted to feel 29.

c.  She wanted to ride out the next 4 years with a bang.

d.  None of our banging business.

Hairs the deal...
It's just hair.

Hair can change like the weather….

although mine hasn't changed since the 

Blizzard of '88.

I thought it was funny when President Barack Obama 
was asked his opinion of his wife's new haircut.

Obama: "I love her bangs. She looks good. She always looks good."

OR

in other words…
"Look, 
Is there any other answer?"

Obama, 
forever the politician, 

knew how to play it safe...
although
most husbands are smart enough to know 
how to answer a loaded question like that.

Anywhoooo.....

I wonder if Michelle Obama and her new hairstyle

will start a 

banging trend.

Remember how Sarah Palin's eye glasses became the new rage?

Michelle might do the same with bangs.

Heck, 

even Joe is already getting in on the trend.

Say it ain't so, Joe.

Extreme Grooming

I've heard of going to extremes…

with

extreme sports,
extreme makeovers,

but
extreme grooming?


How about grooming your pet as...

or

or even

ahoy mateys

Recently I saw a news story about 
Charles, 
the Labradoodle, 
shaved to look like a lion.  
The owner had his dog groomed 
to look like the mascot 
from Old Dominion University, his alma mater.


Charles, got quite a bit of attention around town.

He looked so real, he caused an 

UPROAR.
Panicked townspeople called 911 

with sightings of a baby lion
they thought
escaped from the nearby zoo.

Anywhooooo…..

Charles ,
the lab-a-lion 
may look like the 
"King of the Jungle", 

but

there's another 
Charles 

getting his 

lion share of attention.

Say "Hello" to

Charles, 

"King of Chelsea's Apartment"

or 
as his friends call him...
"Charlie." 

Lip Service

There has been a lot of lip service 

given by the media to 

Beyonce's 
singing 

of the National Anthem 

at Obama's Inauguration. 

Did Beyonce lip sync or not? 

Then again...

Does it really matter or not?

Beyonce's 

lips are sealed.  

(Sealed with a kiss  -  

off.)

She has her lip's buttoned up so tight 
on the subject that
it has become a safely guarded national secret.

My personal thoughts on the matter is that 

in the grand scheme of life…

it doesn't really matter.

But 

(and it's a big but)

 It does matter 
if we're talking about her 

"performance."

Beyonce technically didn't perform.  

It was a recording of her voice.

Granted,
 it was Beyonce's voice and 

it was exceptional.  

(Dang, that girl can sing.)

But

(yes another but)

 I believe the National Anthem 
is a song that should be sung 
LIVE.

A LIVE performance brings in...

the pressure of the big event...  

will the singer 

hit the right notes?

remember the words?

in the right order?

Anywhooo…..

The reason I even give lip service to this subject 

is that singing the National Anthem 

is something I've done a lot.  

Granted, only 

for a crowd of 10,000 

and not 10 million.

Maybe I'm just jealous…

and wish I 
was a singing
Diva
 with pre-recorded options.

Beyonce will be performing during half-time 
at the Superbowl.

I say 
go ahead and 
"put a ring on it"..
I mean..
go ahead and 
lip sync to a pre-recorded track...
It isn't the National Anthem.

Viva La Diva

Happy Birthday Chelsea

Today is a noteworthy day.

27 years ago

 Chelsea 

was born.

And oh yea…

today is 

Martin Luther King Day

AND

the public 

swearing-in ceremony for 

President Barack Obama's second term.

So a lot of folks will be celebrating today…with

parades, balls, galas, 
and some others 

with 

party hats.

ahhh...

Martin Luther King, President Obama, and Chelsea

(I would say they are in good company.)

Anywhoooo…..

As a country, 

as a people,

and as

friends and relatives of Chelsea...

we have a lot to celebrate.

Today puts us in the party spirit

(and I'm not talking Republicans or Democrats

or any party politics.)

I'm talking 

good ole fashion 

balloons, streamers, and ice cream pie.

God Bless America
red, white, and blue

and

God Bless Chelsea

red, white, and WOO HOO

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CHELSEA

Te'oing

Fads come and Fads go...

First we had

planking.

(Easy when you are planking in a field.)

(Not so easy when you are planking in a plane's main cabin.)

Planking evolved into

owling

then

batmaning

IN sports…
we had 

tebowing

then

gronking

and
bradying

Anywhoooo…..

The latest fad was milking...

(udderly silly)

But MOOOve over Milking.

Now we have Te'oing...

What's next?

Metered Moments

We all have those moments...

You're involved in

a situation so ridiculous 

you would think it could be a
sketch on 
Saturday Night Live,
Seinfeld

Or 
 Punk'd.

The scenario:

PaulA and I are standing in line at the San Diego Zoo 
waiting to see their newest Panda, 
born 7 months ago. 

It's not our style to stand in a long line…for anything…

but a baby Panda has a high awww factor 

on the "Cute-o-Meter."

In line behind us stands 
an obnoxious man 
who has the  

the "Dork-o-Meter"
at full-tilt.

What stands out the most with this man…

is how closely he stands behind PaulA.  

He is sooo close…

that a part of him

constantly touches or brushes up 

against  PaulA.  

And when PaulA moves even a half a step forward…

the man does too.  

And this goes on. and on.

every step of the way.

The "Jerk-o-Meter" is off the charts.

Anywhoooo……

It is moments like these 

that get you thinking this has to be a set-up.

There is someone hiding in the bushes...  

deliberately trying your patience... 

just waiting to see how long before you blow…

wanting to capture your melt-down on tape.

I have to say, 
PaulA was one cool dude with Mr. Obnoxious.

But if it was this Kat...
who had to deal with Mr. Obnoxiously Irritating,

I would have broken the 

"Mel Gibson-o-Meter."

Golden Globe Party

I enjoy watching the 

Golden Globes.

I like the loose, relaxed, party atmosphere

(who you calling loose) 

and the

smoozing .

I find it waaay more entertaing than the Oscars

which for me is more like 

snoozing.

(Must we document all the awards given to the Documentaries.) 

I was thinking that Ben Affleck probably

likes the Golden Globes more than the Oscars.  

Ben wasn't even nominated this year for a

"Best Director" Academy Award for his film "Argo."

As they say he was 

"snubbed"

but apparently with his big win last night...

he's turned that 

Oscar snub 

into a 

Golden Globe smug.

Anywhoooo…..

The Golden Globes are the only award show 

where there is drinking all night 

during the show.  

(Or should I say…afternoon.  

Let's remember, the party starts at 5pm in LA.

more like Happy Hour.)

With alcohol involved…

you never know who may 

slip up

verbally or physically.  

And that's part of the fun you don't get from the 

Academy Awards.

The Golden Globes…

are the  

rowdy younger brother 
as compared 

to the more 

composed older brother, 

Oscar. 

And wouldn't ya rather be at 

Prince Harry's party?