Wednesday, June 20, 2012

No *!#*! Profanity Allowed

Watch your potty mouth
when walking down Main Street in Middleboro, MA. 

There has been a proposed ban on swearing in public
and you could literally be slapped...

a fine of $20 bucks.


I believe there is no fine for swearing at home,
so if you feel the need to drop some F*** bombs...


I understand why Middleboro would want to prohibit
the use of profanity in public.
 Throughout the years we have become desensitized to "cussing"
and its cousin "swearing" ...
the two are running rampant.

The Town of Middleboro wants to bring back a little decorum,
which I agree, is lacking in many public places.
It seems that everywhere you go these days,
you can hear expletives
at sporting events, the mall, on vacation. 


What I don't understand is
the enforcing angle.
No matter how acute that angle is.

Who turns you in for using profanity?

a stranger on the street?
your neighbor?

Are there members of the police force out on "swear patrol."
walking the beat,
hiding behind buildings and bushes,
jumping out of clothing racks at stores,
looking for F*** bomb offenders?

I don't get it.


Last March I was using the "voice-to-text" feature on my cell phone
while vacationing on Waikiki Beach in Hawaii.

After I finished the text,
I looked down to make sure my phone understood me correctly....
and I saw that it had typed the F***word
smack dab in the middle of my text.

My phone actually heard the man near the water say the "F" word
which I had overheard...
but I didn't realize my cell phone had such good ears.

Why are you swearing, Dude?  You are in paradise.

Where's a bar of soap when you need it?

The people of Middleboro should start working on some alternatives
for F***bombs
to avoid slappings and fines.

I have a few suggestions they might want to consider:

"What the Fudge."

"Get the Fungus out of here."

"What the Futon are you talking about?"


the one my parents always yelled at me when I was growing up

"Shut the Fridge door."

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