Monday, June 4, 2012

Kat's 1000th Blog

Do you hold a record? Any record. 
I’ll even accept your beer chugging record....  but not your rap sheet. 
Your police record is definitely  stretching it.

Today this Kat has reached new heights...
a record
1000 blogs.

(That’s slinging a lot of blog hash over the past 4 and so years.)

I realize my feat (size 6 1/2 )
doesn’t measure up to those who have attainted real records ...
Michael Phelps's feat (size 14 )..8 gold medals in a single Olympiad...
Joey Chestnut’s scrumptious record of 62 hotdogs in a single sitting...
and even Sistersludge's family record of 11 ears of corn in a single dinner...

And wouldn’t you know
Queen Eliazabeth
is out there right now
trying to steal my thunder, single handedly. 

Leave it to the Queen Mum to upstage me. 

The Queen’s Diamond Jubilee
Kat’s 1000 Jubilee.

Of all times for our two records to coincide and collide.
Okay, a 60 year reign is very impressive...and deserves a royal celebration.
I do realize a
1000 boat flotialla
might trump
1000 blogs. 
but, whatever floats your boat.

There is always someone out there gunning for you...
trying to break your record. 
I distinctly remember the record that I was very proud of in high school.
I felt like crying the day it was broken.
It was the Beatles "White Album" and some clown stepped on it.
Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-da...
life goes on.


You might not be that impressed with my distinctive small feet
and even think I should have my hands tied,
to end my madness.

I say,
“Go ahead tie them together. I’m pretty sure I can type with my nose.
But just don’t take away my blog chair.
I know for a fact, I can’t blog standing up.
All my inspirations come from the rear.”

I rule from by blog chair over random subjects

the same way the queen rules from her royal throne over her subjects.

Bring on the Pomp and the Pagentry...
there's room for the two of us..
I’ve even been practicing my wave.

A Toast to myself 

for 1000 blogs...

"May the blog chair always rise up behind me."
Bottoms up."

1 comment:

Chelsea Coleen said...

Mom! I am so impressed! I remember when you first started your blog almost 5 years ago. I think its so awesome that you have kept at it, kept entertaining us all. and not only that, you have yet to lose your creativity and wit. Without you I would have never taken up blogging. It really is such a creative outlet and something you will have for the rest of your life. CONGRATS!!! here's to 1,000 more ;)