After recently reading about the discovery of sunken treasure of coins and artifacts worth a half a billion dollars, I remembered a story a friend of mine once told me about her son’s girlfriend. My friend made the mistake of asking the girlfriend what she wanted to do (with her life). The girl matter of factly replied, "I want to be a PIRATE." So how do you respond to that? “Sorry Matey…the ship has left without you. You are one poop short of a full deck.”
Hmmm… I was wondering what the girl found so appealing about a pirate's life. Was it living on the seas and sailing around the world to distant places? Was it commandeering other ships, ransacking them, and stealing their gold and silver coins? Was it making someone walk the gangplank as you nudged them along with your sword? Not doing it for me. Intimidation on the gangplank does sound like fun…but did someone say “seasick?”
Was it the pirate’s wardrobe that got her cannon-balled over…the tri-cornered hat, bandana, puffy shirt (worked for Jerry Seinfeld), sash, big boots, and gold teeth? The attractive eye patch…which draws attention to your better eye? Oh, probably the wooden leg …extra space to hold your rum. And the gold hoop earrings. I like the idea of matching gold jewelry in my mouth and ears…but did someone say “hat head?”
Maybe it’s the way pirates talk… "Ahoy there Matey. Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum. Arrrr….It’s Ye captain, me buckos.” I like calling people buckos and calling for rum…but did someone say “Mutiny…feed the fish some Kat!?”
If I think outside the ship box…maybe I can understand why she would want to be a pirate. I can see the romanticism of the pirate's life on the high seas back in the day. Way better than working at a sendentary stationary desk, but I just hope she was talking about the pirates of long ago…and not the pirates of today. Today’s pirates use speed boats, machine guns, GPS systems and cell phones…and would be called "hoodlums of the sea."
I’m just hoping she was talking about the ole school Jolly Roger pirates…. Did someone say “whack job?”
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