“They” say: Necessity is the Mother of Invention. I say: Duncandog is the Father of Invention. The other day when I brought Duncandog home from the groomer, I had him ride in the seat next to me. His presence made quite an impact. Hefty Duncandog weighed just enough to set off the seatbelt alarm so the dang thing dinged…the whole weigh home.
I lectured big boy for the next couple of miles home. It was a serious conversation…gato to perro: “Sorry Duncandog, but starting tomorrow I am putting you on Dog Food Lite…this seat is screaming that you are too big to ride shotgun.” His look of misery showed he understood that his fat and happy days were over. Then it hit me…EUREKA…a perfect weight loss device.
Alarms could be installed in our favorite chairs. Whenever we sat down a little “ding” alarm could go off…to remind us of our recent Frito-Lay Fest. Or for a more impressive effect, the alarm could be a “gong.” Remember the Gong Show? The device could work in the same fashion…Outta here lardo. The gong could be heard reverberating through the house and down the street proclaiming: Put down the Frito, you Bandito.
If my chair had the capability to humiliate me, I might rethink the whoopee pie I was about to shove in my mouth. And god knows I love the whoopie pie! And maybe rethink the Chubby Hubby I was craving (the Ben and Jerry’s version, PaulA.)
After months of a long winter in the blog chair, my ass has grown to its full potential. A gong device could be just what I need to take action. I’m gonna have to thank Duncandog for his weighty contribution in helping to keep katkind fit.
I know Duncandog will be happy for me to join him in the dog house of humiliation. Misery always loves company.
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