Dog Talk

Are you listening to your dog...do you know what he is saying? Everyday at 5 pm Duncan dog will sit directly in front of us and stare. That is dog talk for: “Get your rear in gear and put some darn food in my bowl.” The only mix-up occurs with Daylight Savings time…then he’s an hour early. But still he sits saying: “Hey PaulA and Kat, it is 5 o’clock somewhere! Isn’t that what you two always say?”

The other day Big C said she wished that Duncan could talk. It is an interesting thought when you think about it. But when I gave it careful consideration (Hey, what else do I have to do), I thought…no way do I want my dog to talk. He’ll be hounding me (pun intended) just like the rest of my family. Bossing me around, asking for stuff, and interrupting my blog thoughts. It is enough that he is under foot so I can’t reach the stove or get through the door without tripping over him. I don’t need him reminding me to make his next vet and bath appointments.

Duncan can get his point across without talking and I am just fine with that. When he wants me to get up from the table after dinner and start doing the dishes so he can have leftovers …he goes to the dishwasher and gives a little bark. That’s dog talk for: “You lazy owner…enough slacking off. If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you twice….I want my scraps and I want them now. I’d like to see you eat dry dog food for every meal of your entire life.”

When he wants to go outside, he stands by the slider door and makes a quiet “grrrr.” That’s dog talk for: “Hey Clueless, let me out of here before I either take a pee or crap on your kitchen rug like I did last week. You remember, when you shoved me outside for longer than normal ‘cause you were ticked off.”

And when it is 6:30 a.m. he barks LOUD enough to wake me from upstairs. That’s dog talk for: “Get up humans. I’m awake now and I want to put my nose in some interesting places outside. I need to take another pee and crap…’cause it has been 8 hours and I am not exactly a freaking camel you know.”

In the evening Duncan comes to me while I’m sitting on the couch and points his butt in my direction. That’s dog talk for: “You call yourself Kat, well start scratching.” What is your dog saying to you?