Monday, October 28, 2013

4 Baseball Action Verbs





If you are watching the World Series 
Let's Go Red Sox
you've witnessed a few of these verbs in action.  
And they ain't pretty.

Sometimes the television camera catches a player 
in the dugout with his finger up his nose...
coal-miner style.
(And you know...his mom has told him once, 
if not
a thousand times…
nasal cavity excavation should not be done in public.)

A spit spray of sunflower seeds is unattractive…
but a spit spray of black, nasty, tobacco chew is
MAJOR LEAGE disgusting.
"chew tobacco, chew tobacco, chew tobacco, spit"
Apparently...spit happens.

Nose blowing (without a handkerchief)…
snot rocket
just blows.

I assume the grabbing we see
is just a wardrobe adjustment,
but I’m not a jock.


I might think these verbs are unattractive...
but I was thinking....
(no Kat don't think)
they could actually help  
television networks 
increase viewership
among adolescents.

Replacing the highlight montage of a game's
catches, steals,
strike-outs, and home runs...
with a montage of 
picking, spitting, grabbing, and blowing 
would be an instant hit.

However, we should hope
to never ever see...
a montage of player's
crying, sobbing, and blubbering.

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