Monday, February 25, 2013

Oscar Material

What did ya think of the Oscars last night?

I thought they were okay at best...
a tad boring in spots.
But it's not like I had other plans 
for an icy cold Sunday night in February.

It dragged….
3 hours and 35 minutes...
and I only dozed off three times.
Lucky for me I didn't miss anything big…just the inconsequential, insipid, and inane parts...
ummm…which was often.

To spice up the night…I dressed for the occasion.
"Tonight i'm wearing a gold skirt/tank ensemble.  
My top is Gap Body and 
skirt is Oscar de La Who Ya Kidding?"
sorry. Lucky you. I Don't have a pic to show you.


Does anyone know what was up with Renee Zellweger?
She had her usual 
I've-just-sucked-on-a-lemon look, 

but something was different.  
Was she smashed?…
or was it simply over botoxification?
I gotta admit, she looked smashing in that dress.

The Jaws Theme 
was perfect for 
getting the long-winded, show-dragging types off the stage.  
It would have been even better 
if a big mechanical shark rose up and pulled 
them off stage…

and to pull Quentin Tarantino off stage
with a lot of blood and gore 

would have been fitting.

As for  the host, Seth McFarlane…
some of his jokes were not so sharp
and many fell flat.

But musically speaking,
Seth McFarlane was right on Key.
who knew he could sing and dance?

I don't like to be overly critical …but seeing 
Seth is willing to dish out zingers...
he's gotta be able to take some in.
(Admittedly, zingers feel best 
going in the "out" direction.)

His song "We saw your boobs" was …
insensitive…sexist…and 3rd grade boy humor…
perfect from the creator of "Family Guy" and "Ted."
At least he was true to himself.

And Seth, 
please stop with old, tired jokes about
 Rhianna and Chris Brown's tumultuous relationship,
 George Clooney dating younger women and
Mel Gibson voicemail rants
Boring.Not. funny.

Captain Kirk appeared overhead…

was he was giving us a true heads up?

There were some points in the show…
where nothing really materialized for Seth……
no matter how hard we wished he was 
beamed up.

ps.  Thank you, Jennifer Lawrence,
for tripping up the stairs to get your award.

1 comment:

Chelsea Coleen said...

it was after watching the opening of the show that we decided ehhh lets watch a movie instead haha