No-No's for a Retired Pope Benedict

Today Pope Benedict XVI is retiring…

hanging up his domed chess piece hat.

checkmate

At age 85, Pope Benedict

stated he was resigning 

"because of advanced age."

Hmmmm...and to think "advanced age" 

hasn't stopped Queen Elizabeth. 

Apparently Pope Benedict will live 
for the next two months 

in a lakeside retreat in the hills of Rome...

until the convent, 
where he will make his new home,

 is finished being renovated.

I'm thinking the Pope might want to 
ask for an extended stay or 
maybe plan a cruise.  

God Knows…

contractors never finish the job when they tell you they will. 
 Is it wrong to tell a white lie 
to the Pope?

Having a Pope onboard  

would be good for all the ships patrons.  
It's always good to have God on your side when cruising...

especial these days. 

He could even turn rough seas into calm Holy Waters.  

I know I'd feel really secure about my trip if I looked out 

and saw 

the Pope on the Poop Deck.

Anywhooo…….

Pope Benedict says he will live

"hidden from the world" 
in retirement.  

And will spend his time in prayer, reflection, and reading. 

Should he take up cruising, 
may I recommend a fast read…
"50 Shades of Grey."

(Note to self: very disrespectful….

keep that up and it will be 50 Shades of Purgatory.)

Retirement is a new concept for the Vatican.   

The last time a pontiff retired was 600 years ago, 

so there is no manual...

no silver linings playbook to work from.  

They'll  have to fly by the seat of their papal chair.

There are, however, a few NO-NO's for the retired Pope...

NO more tweets …

(he found it hard to keep them under 140 characters anyway.)

NO cape …only a simple white cassock

NO red shoes…back to his basic brown

There's no place like Rome.

NO ring...

AND NO fancy Swiss guards…

BUT

I'm pretty sure he will still be able to 

keep his

pope-on-a-rope.

Dear Duncandog Since You've Been Gone

Dear Duncandog,

It's been a year 

since you've been gone.

And

 life just ain't the same.

When I come into the house…

you aren't scampering to the door to 

excitedly greet me.

Oh Boy, I miss you.

Whenever I turn around…

I am not stepping all over you.

Oh Boy, I miss you.

When I drop food on the kitchen floor,

you aren't there cleaning it up with your efficient 
lapping technique.

Oh Boy, I miss you.

When it's bedtime,

you aren't around to hug 
and wish good night.

Oh Boy, I miss you.

Anyboohoo……..

One year 
has passed 

since you've been gone….

but not 
one minute 
has passed 

that you haven't been 
missed.


Boy, Oh Boy, 
I miss you

my furry little friend.

Oscar Material

What did ya think of the Oscars last night?

I thought they were okay at best...

a tad boring in spots.

But it's not like I had other plans 

for an icy cold Sunday night in February.

It dragged….

3 hours and 35 minutes...

and I only dozed off three times.

Lucky for me I didn't miss anything big…just the inconsequential, insipid, and inane parts...

ummm…which was often.

To spice up the night…I dressed for the occasion.

"Tonight i'm wearing a gold skirt/tank ensemble.  

My top is Gap Body and 

skirt is Oscar de La Who Ya Kidding?"

sorry. Lucky you. I Don't have a pic to show you.

Anywhooooo……

Does anyone know what was up with Renee Zellweger?

She had her usual 

I've-just-sucked-on-a-lemon look, 

but something was different.  

Was she smashed?…

or was it simply over botoxification?

I gotta admit, she looked smashing in that dress.

The Jaws Theme 

was perfect for 
getting the long-winded, show-dragging types off the stage.  

It would have been even better 
if a big mechanical shark rose up and pulled 
them off stage…

and to pull Quentin Tarantino off stage

with a lot of blood and gore 

would have been fitting.

As for  the host, Seth McFarlane…

some of his jokes were not so sharp…

and many fell flat.

But musically speaking,

Seth McFarlane was right on Key.

who knew he could sing and dance?

I don't like to be overly critical …but seeing 

Seth is willing to dish out zingers...

he's gotta be able to take some in.

(Admittedly, zingers feel best 

going in the "out" direction.)

His song "We saw your boobs" was …

insensitive…sexist…and 3rd grade boy humor…

perfect from the creator of "Family Guy" and "Ted."

At least he was true to himself.

And Seth, 

please stop with old, tired jokes about

 Rhianna and Chris Brown's tumultuous relationship,

 George Clooney dating younger women and

Mel Gibson voicemail rants

Boring.Not. funny.

When 

Captain Kirk appeared overhead…

was he was giving us a true heads up?

There were some points in the show…

where nothing really materialized for Seth……

no matter how hard we wished he was 

beamed up.

ps.  Thank you, Jennifer Lawrence,
for tripping up the stairs to get your award.

Operating with MUSIC

I recently read a fascinating news article about a

double swap 
kidney transplant...

where each patient receives a kidney 
from a family member 
of the other patient.

The ole switcherooo...

or technical name....
"paired exhange."

The surgeries are done at the same time.  

That way no one has a chance to back out.

Nothing worse than a 
kidney 
grab-and-go.

na na na na na

What I also found interesting in the article
 was the description of the 
two operating rooms 
during the transplants.

Each operating room
worked similarly...
but

 differed 


musically.

One operating room played 
pulsing 90's rock music...
while the other 
played an 80's dance track.

say what?

(I thought this kind of stuff only happened on 

Grey's Anatomy.)

Anywhooooo.....

I didn't realize music 
(other than Mozart)
was being played during surgeries.

The article got me thinking 
about my colonoscopy 
when I was 

knocked out.

 There might have been a party going on 

behind me.

Hmmm...I wonder what was on the 
gastroenterologist's playlist???

Bad Moon Rising?

Moon Shadow?

Moon Dance?

or 
the colonoscopy favorite....

Dark Side Of The Moon?

Extreme Events

What's going on with all the 

Extreme weather 

these days?

Extreme weather is supposed to be rare... 

but lately it's occurring more frequently.

 Almost as often as 

this Kat stares into the frig.

(okay, maybe not that often.)

Over the past two two years around the world….

there have been major droughts, 

heat waves, tornadoes, floods, 

hurricanes, wildfires, and blizzards.

But apparently there is another extreme threat 

that I should be aware of...

which also happens to 

fall from the sky… 

the Meteor.

It's crazy that a meteor 

with the weight of 10,000 tons and as

powerful as several nuclear bombs 

exploded over Russia 

sending rock fragment to Earth and 

injuring over a thousand people.

And hours later a 150 foot wide asteroid
came as close as 17,200 miles from Earth. 

phew. 
What about those other big rocks out there?

Anywhoooo…..

With all the recent weather chain of events

 I've decided to become more prepared 
with vital survival items...

And now 

with the extra threat of rock material falling from the sky…

I  have added some valuable 

head cover...

You can never be too careful
or 
too prepared.

Happy Colintine's Day...Milestone 25

Today is 

Colintine's Day...

Colin's 
Birthday 

and 
Valentines Day 
all rolled into one sugary sweet day.

It is also
a milestone birthday for Colin.  

25 years old.  

A quarter of a century.
woo hoo

It's amazing to think about 

how much time has passed

since Colin was my little boy...

aka my sidekick.

ahhh...I'm remembering the days when
Colin would go wherever I would go... 

whether it was a quick trip to the Stop and Shop, 

or to the bank….

he'd jump in the car…

riding shotgun.
And I remember hoping that would never end.

Anywhoooo……

Fast forward to TODAY….

and Colin is 25….

no longer that little boy  

but 

a young man with places to go...

making his mark in the world…

and now

touring the country with Dustin Lynch 

and the band.

And so,

the tables are turned
and now I am the follower...

Colin's groupie.

And wherever Colin goes 

like every good groupie...

I am with him
in love and support.

This Kat is Colin's Number One FAN!

Happy 25th Birthday, Colin.
xo

Vacation Re-entry to Planet Reality

Re-entry

is a 

bee-otch...

especially 
re-entry

that involves 

breaking the speed of sound 

into Planet Earth's atmosphere.

(Apparently acceleration 

wreaks havoc on the human body.)

But almost as 

mind bending

 is the re-entry

from this world 

into this world...

especially when

having to accelerate 
from a 

slow crawl off the beach...

to

a full speed shoveling of snow 
off the front walk.

(Again, acceleration wreaking havoc on the human body.)

Anywhoooooo…….

There are times when I would appreciate 

the policy 

 they have during concerts...

I would happily welcome

a No Re-entry Policy
back to
Planet Reality.

Finding Nemo

The predicted and anticipated 
Blizzard of 2013,
Nemo 

turned out to be much more than a fish tale...

especially for those in 

the Northeast

where Nemo landed.  

(Thanks for the pic, Pat.)

The Blizzard,
 with the name of a tiny little fish...

had a whale of an effect.

Or so we heard.

Anywhoooo...

PaulA and I MISSED the Blizzard of 2013.  

Our timing was impeccable.

No snow or snow plows here in 
Key West...

just sun, sand, and sea.

But PaulA and I MISSED Nemo in another way. 

 We missed experiencing a significant Blizzard...

not our typical New England snowstorm.

The pictures sent to us 

of 3 feet of snow back home were

OFF THE HOOK.

holla Bri

So in honor of Nemo

whether in the Florida Keys 

or 

buried under 3 feet of snow....

we raise a glass
and

DRINK LIKE A FISH.

Sibling Rivalry Super Bowl

 Are you gearing up for 

The Super Bowl

or 
as the Media likes to call it...

"The Harbowl?"

You  have to be living under a goal post 
not to know that the two coaches 
in this year's Super Bowl 

are brothers,

John Harbaugh, Baltimore Ravens Head Coach
 and 
Jack Harbaugh, San Francisco 49'ers Head Coach.

The underlying story is the 
ultimate in 
sibling rivalry.

(Hmmm...I wonder who used to win at wrestling

when the brothers 
tried to get the other 

to yell "Uncle" 

and not look like a sissy 

when crying for momma. 

(Nothing like the family unit.)

Anywhoooo…..

I'm not a fan of siblings competing directly against each other…on a national stage.

 (I never liked it when 

Venus and Serena Williams

 competed in a Grand Slam Final.) 

I think the whole experience will be hardest on 

John and Jim's parents,

Jack and Jackie…

(How do they keep all the "J" names straight?)

The parents won't be able to look too happy
 for the winner…

when the other son is the LOSER.  

(I mean the one that lost.)

I wonder where Jack and Jackie will sit 

to watch the Super Bowl? 
I'm sure they'll want to sit somewhere impartial, but 

I think 

Switzerland
might be a little too far.