Thursday, August 20, 2009

Archie/Betty/Veronica...The Love Triangle

The 600th issue of the Archie comic book is due out next week and the big news is…Archie Andrews makes a choice. For years it’s been Archie…Betty…Veronica. The bumbling, freckled faced, waffle red-head Archie caught between…the loyal and sweet Betty…and the spoiled, manipulative, rich biotch, Veronica. The Love Triangle.

Now the comical news is…this polygon will be busted into segments. Archie makes a choice between the two…and the winner of Archie’s cartoon hand …..Veronica.

I’ve been an Archie fan since I was a little girl so I find the outcome of this love triangle very disturbing…probably even more disturbing than the outcome of the real-life love triangle we are all familiar with…waffle-head Brad Pitt…sultry, sexy Angelina Jolie…and the wholesome, girl-next-door Jennifer Anniston. I wonder if Betty will be as devastated as Jennifer Anniston…and do a rebounder hook-up with John Mayer. I hear John is still available.

It’s actually amazing Archie has been able to keep 2 girls…on the hook for almost 70 years…there must be something behind that pie-eyed, blank look of his…that drives cartoon women wild.

I hear Archie has finally graduated from Riverdale High (only took him a short 68 years), also graduated college, and has a job. I wonder what Archie does for a living? He better make the big bucks…or Veronica will make his life miserable and throw him out on his waffle head.

Everyone who reads Archie will have their favorite… Betty vs Veronica. Blond vs. brunette. Sexy vs. wholesome. Money vs. real love (why can’t you really love money…a good compromise.) I think Archie doesn’t deserve Betty…she’s too good for him. (I had to weigh in.)

I still don’t get why after 68 years Archie chooses between the two. Why bother? I think the writers should get with the times…get with 2009. They’ve updated the characters…and their looks…so why have them get married…an old institution? Maybe instead of proposing marriage…Archie shacks-up with one of them without any marital commitment. He could choose Veronica for now…and then change his mind and take Betty…the ole switcheroo…like on the last “Bachelor.”

Or let’s get really REAL and with today’s times. Forget Veronica AND forget Betty. Why not choose Jughead?

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