Leave A Message...After The Beep

What does your voicemail greeting sound like? Are you witty, to the point, creative? Mine is basic and to the point. “Please leave a message after the beep.”… Plain Kat. When I was setting up my greeting announcement, I couldn’t decide what kind of voicemail greeting I should record. What voice inflection should I use? I wasn’t sure what “Kat” I would be:

Meow baby…This is sexy Kat…wanna leave me a message.
Hey mon…This is laid-back Kat…just chillin..drop one here.
Hey gangstas…This is rappa Kat…talk at me…afta da beep.
Hello Public…This is businessy Kat…you have 5 seconds to produce a detailed message.

My kids are not good about answering calls from me. Wishy is pretty good about answering (she’s not a college coed yet), but Big C and Colinboy are a different story. They have voicemail greetings that I get to hear every time I call. It didn’t take me long to figure out that they prefer a “little heads up” …a little “call screening” before they’ll answer. Now I feel I have an actual relationship with the voice message kid….that’s the kid I reach when I call.

When I get Chelsea’s voicemail message: She couldn’t sound sweeter… “Hey, this is Chelsea…leave a message and I’ll call you back.” But when I listen, I feel like her voice message to me is REALLY saying: “Hey Mom, this is Chelsea…leave a message and I’ll TEXT you back.” Then she sends me a text…. “What’s up?”

Colin’s voicemail greeting goes something like: “Hey guys …it’s Colin…leave a message and I’ll call you back.” I feel like his voice message to me is REALLY saying: “Hey mom, it’s Colinboy …You have a fat chance in hell before I pick up without knowing what this convo is about. Leave a message and MAYBE I’ll return your call. If you’re handing out money…I’ll call you back in 30 seconds.”

I think from now on, I will start screening my calls, just like Big C and Colinboy. Maybe my voicemail message to them should be: “Hey kids, unless you have a job, acing all your courses or really miss me…I’m not picking up. Leave a message…Love you.”